“The tests we face in life’s journey are not to reveal our weaknesses but to help us discover our inner strengths. We can only know how strong we are when we strive and thrive beyond the challenges we face.” ~~Kemi Sogunle
“It was so risky and so scary, and yet at the same time, so beautiful. Maybe the truth was, it shouldn’t be easy to be amazing. Then everything would be. It’s the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When something’s difficult to come by, you’ll do that much more to make sure it’s even harder—if not impossible to lose.” ~~Sarah Dessen
“Take a limitation and turn it into an opportunity. Take an opportunity and turn it into an adventure by dreaming BIG!” ~~Jo Franz
#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.
This is what I am, and I shall know it always.
Did you feel it?
It was there, overflowing through computer screens, iphones and tablets. It was there in brightly lit rooms and quiet corners, and it was there because YOU DID IT and together, WE DID IT! You and countless other 4C women pulled off something amazing: WFS Conference 2021! It was like Statement #12 came alive over the weekend!
Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., began with a thought….and from that thought came a recovery program designed for women. Jean knew there was a void and sought to fill it; and WFS was born. Years later, women continue to gather in support of each other, online, face to face and by phone or text/email. It is that bond, that connection that envelopes us, creating a bridge to a New Life filled with freedom, possibility, growth.
From our absolutely touching Opening Ceremony to the amazing keynote speakers and connecting breakout sessions, this weekend brought women together. We laughed, we cried, and we learned. We felt listened to and heard. We felt safe and secure. We felt the untold number of volunteer hours put together from behind the scenes. We gave our time, talents and donations. We learned more about ourselves and who we wish to be. We saw old friends and created new ones. We embraced our value and worth. We felt the beauty of living a sober and clean life and we opened ourselves up to possibility. We are competent women and we will know it always!
Hi 4C Women,
So many competent women gathered in one place. It was amazing. As many of you know, I have been a part of WFS for over 30 years and it is wonderful that I continue to be blessed with learning life lessons from all these phenomenal 4C women. I am filled with such peace in the understanding and acceptance that this recovery journey is just that – a journey, not a destination. Knowing that helps me in those unsettling times when I begin to question why my work is not done. I am grateful for the awareness that continued growth is what life is all about.
Seasons change and so do I in adapting and creating balance with those changes. It’s comforting to have this awareness. Years ago, I was unwilling to change and perhaps that worked in my favor as one of the keynote speakers, Rebecca Ray, shared that we have protectors that help up fight against pain and hurt. Those protectors worked really hard to block my hurt and it wasn’t their fault that I was fearful of change. They were doing their job. It was however, as she shared, my responsibility to change how I coped with those hurtful feelings. I learned that it is important to bring those protectors along the journey, to embrace with them with compassion as we take responsibility in becoming that competent woman we are and always have been. Ignoring the pain and hurt as we mature blocks our ability to grow emotionally and spiritually.
I have always said that in our life, we are teachers and students. It’s knowing who we are at any given time. I can now thank my protectors as I was growing up when I didn’t have much needed coping tools. As I said, they did their job. As an adult, I realized I had to work through the hurt and pain to be in charge of my life, to have an emotionally healthy recovery and to show the world that I was indeed a competent woman who had much to give life.
Another speaker, Mary Beth O’Connor, shared how introducing herself as a competent woman was challenging yet after a few weeks, she found herself sitting up straight, feeling empowered. I love the way she expressed it as a powerful identifier.
While I have always described the italicized part of each Statement as the action part, I appreciated how the first part was described as our “belief.” So, believing you are competent as the first part of Statement 12 says, the action part is to live it as your daily truth. I have a 3×5 index card that I carry with me. On the front is the word STOP! On the back are words describing who I am today, things I have accomplished and the positive changes I have made in my recovery. They are my truth. When the feeling of being incompetent starts to creep in or any negative thoughts about myself, I pull out my card with the truth of who I am today. I have found it to be useful for several of the Statements. Here are some questions to get your started on your own STOP! card:
What are 3 or more empowering words to describe yourself?
What positive changes have you made?
What is your personal affirmation?
I am competent in the way I _________________
I have accomplished __________________
What gifts, talents do I possess?
Bonded in knowing “I am possible!” – Dee