Hello Competent Women!
I wanted to give a quick shout-out of love to all of our 4C women today! Whether you have a sweetheart or not, I sincerely hope that all of you can take a moment to practice a little self-love and self-appreciation today.
I remember one year, well before I found WFS, that I was feeling very sorry for myself on Valentine’s Day (Statement #2). I was single and I was moping about being without a sweetheart on this day that we set aside to celebrate love. I wandered listlessly into the grocery store during my lunch break to try to find something appealing to eat. Right at the entrance was a large display of Valentine’s candy and gifts, seemingly mocking my loneliness, all 75% off. “Wow,” I thought, “I could buy something for every single one of my friends for that price.”
As the faces of the dear men and women in my life began to play like a slideshow in my mind, it slowly dawned on me that I did, in fact, have a whole lot of love surrounding me (#7). Sure, I wasn’t romantically involved with anyone, but lots of people loved me, and I loved them in myriad ways. I loved the way my best friend always took my side when I was struggling with a difficult situation. I loved that I could go to another one of my friend’s houses any time and just sit on the couch and watch bad t.v. with him when I was bored and feeling alone. I loved that I could get into wacky political debates with another one of my gal pals. And I realized that they probably loved at least a few things about me, too! (#10)
I resolved then and there to change my attitude and not spend a lonely evening feeling sorry myself (#13). I grabbed a basket and filled it to the brim with heart-shaped boxes of cheap confections and cheesy kid’s valentines cards (#6). I spent the afternoon making a mental list of who I wanted to share love with that evening and plotting my driving route (#12). When I got off work, I happily slogged through Seattle rush-hour traffic to make my rounds (#11). I didn’t call ahead of time, I just showed up on people’s doorsteps, silly V-day tchotchkes in hand, surprising my friends with my message of love, receiving a quick hug and maybe sharing a tear or two of surprised joy, and running off to the next house (#3). If they weren’t home, I left them a love-filled surprise and received messages of appreciation later (#10).
Since then, I’ve had many Valentine’s Days when I’ve had sweethearts, and plenty without (#13). I’ve had lonely single V-days, and lonely ones when I’ve been in a relationship, too (#4). One year early in my sobriety, the only living soul I could think of who loved me was my cat! (#10) I’ve isolated and wallowed in my misery some years (#2), and been able to turn myself around in others (#3). This year, I am single but definitely not alone (#5). I have thousands of Sisters worldwide, bonded together in overcoming our addictions, learning to give love, learning to receive love, and supporting each other as we learn to love ourselves a little more (#8).
What’s your favorite Valentine’s story? I invite you to comment below and share with the world! (Blog comments may be left anonymously.)
Much Love,
Adrienne Miller
President/CEO
Women for Sobriety, Inc.