“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ~~Ann Landers
“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” ~~Tony Schwartz
“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day.” ~~Steve Maraboli
#9 The past is gone forever.
No longer am I victimized by the past. I am a new woman.
Sobriety and Statement #9 in action can result in freedom from guilt, freedom from regret and even freedom from shame. Before my New Life, my past haunted me. Wallowing in regret, I tried to use alcohol to free myself from uncomfortable feelings and reality. Of course. alcohol only intensified the issues and took me further away from moving through my feelings.
In our WFS Program booklet it states “To loosen one’s grip on the past is not always easy. We evaluate our past so we can learn from it. We examine our feelings about the past so we can process and release them. Our interest in the past is to use it as a guide for how we want to be in the moment and to prepare for the future.” Today we can examine our past with clarity and a different perspective, all the while learning from it and formulating plans for our future.
The wonderful thing about moving through feelings from the past is that once we do, it is complete, done, over. Either something of value is learned, or understanding, forgiveness and/or acceptance is experienced. Some things have taken me years to move through, and other things have taken less time. The common thread is those feelings and experiences help shape my tomorrows. Notably, regret, guilt and shame have all but disappeared while balance, compassion and fulfillment are here to stay.
What are you ready to move through?
Hi 4C Women,
I was looking back on a message from Nancy Cross who left behind so many wonderful words of wisdom for us. This one on Statement #9 really spoke to me and I’d like to share it with you. Carrying old baggage can be such a heavy burden. The baggage of envy, anger, sadness, regret, guilt, shame and so much more. She went on to explain that when we find we have too much to carry, we look for a cart. For her, that cart was her addiction. The question that she posed was, “Do you know who packed your bags?” We have a choice in sobriety to repack those bags, getting rid of the “shoulds”, the “cant’s” and “I wish I would haves.” And while the hurtful past arises as a natural process, we have the choice to acknowledge it and let it “briefly” visit. Then we make another choice to not be victimized by it, the action part of Statement #9.
Perhaps you can ask yourself as you reflect on the pain of the past, are you stronger for it? Wiser? Perhaps more compassionate towards yourself for your ability to survive and make healthier choices? Have the lessons gained from the past created inside changes that sustain you and honor you in the present?
It’s important to date each worksheet so in 6 months (May 2021), you can reflect on the changes you made and the continued healing work to be done to release and heal from the past. I hope you will share your answers at a meeting or with a trusted person in your life. As you can see (I hope), I added who packed your bags from Nancy’s message.
Click here or on the image below to download a copy of Tossing Old Baggage.
Click here or on the image below to download a copy of the 6 Month Questionnaire.
I hope this Thanksgiving can be one of finding peace with your past, moving toward the joy of freedom, forgiveness of what cannot be changed and hopefully healed, Dee