“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.” Amelia Earhart
“Done is better than perfect.” ~~Sheryl Sandberg
“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident, just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” ~~Carrie Fisher
#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
Over 14 years ago, sobriety scared me senseless. I knew for an exceedingly long time that alcohol was a problem in my life (though I did not realize at the time how life-threatening it was) and I had no clue how to move forward. Yet one day, I acted. Today, life is vastly different from those first few months because of the WFS New Life Program and the practice of Statement #12.
For years, conditioning myself with negative assumptions became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I reminded myself of failures and wallowed in self-pity. Clearing my mind of alcohol, grasping empowering thoughts and reframing conversations became easier. Soon I was moving away from negative self-talk into becoming my own cheerleader.
Statement #12 in action is our personal promoter. Simple repetition of even just the first five words of this empowering Statement can alter our direction. It is a building block of stable recovery and with continued practice can assist us in setting new goals and achievements. One of my early goals was to make the bed each day. Now, it is automatic. The same is true for many aspects of my life. As I begun to believe in the smaller truths, it created a sturdy and healthy foundation for larger truths. Believing in myself more, the more I began to try. Of course, success did not come each time, today I understand the trying is more important than immediate success.
How do you encourage yourself? What does it look/sound like? How does it feel?
What is one thing that you can try this week that you have been hesitating on?
Hi 4C Women,
Oh, how I love Karen’s message and especially that we are our own personal promoter. Nina and I once did a workshop at the WFS conference on being your own best friend. It opened my eyes to how we can encourage and support others yet struggle with empowering ourselves. Why does it feel wrong to be our own cheerleader? Is it an old message from our youth or societal restrictions that to compliment and acknowledge our successes and outstanding characteristics is being self-centered or conceited, especially for women? A lot has changed since my youth and adulthood and all I can say is, “thank goodness.” Expressing our talents, gifts,successes and positive qualities is more accepted in today’s world and for me, it makes saying Statement #12 out loud so much easier and truthful! I believe I am a competent woman and have much to give life. Do you believe this is your truth? Are you comfortable at this point in your recovery to admit just how empowered and competent you are? If not, what is the stumbling block in creating and believing this to be your truth? What action steps can you take to move forward in accepting Statement #12?
Another workshop Nina and I presented was Powerful You in which we discussed what is real power, why and how we hide our power.
Here are some of the questions we presented to the participants:
1. In your family, what rules or messages were you given to hide your power? Examples: Don’t brag, you’ll get a big head, negative consequences to feeling confident, angry/rageful parent made it feel unsafe to express yourself fully.
2. Which ways do you hide your power?
a. Your thoughts – how you think about yourself. Would you speak to your friends the way you speak to yourself?
b. Your words – what you say. Do your words diminish or empower you? Do they command respect or do they minimize your sense of worth?
c. Your actions – what you do or don’t do. Change your behavior by knowing what you will stop doing and what you will start doing to build your knowledge/feeling of being a competent woman. Write it down. This goes back to the question Karen asked about trying one thing this week that you have been hesitating on.
Real power is the energy that fuels our actions. It comes from living with integrity, from aligning your thoughts, words and actions with the deepest part of who you are. And who you are is a competent woman who has much to give life.
Bonded in believing/knowing you are a competent woman now and always, Dee