“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~~Steve Maraboli
“When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.” ~~Evelyn Waugh
“Your journey is completely yours. It is unique. Others may try to steal part of it, tell it in their words or shape it to suit them. Reality is, no one can live it or own it but you. Take charge of your journey, it’s yours and yours alone.” ~~Kemi Sogunle
#13 I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
Statement #13, the finale of the WFS New Life Program, encourages continued management of our sobriety and recovery. In our WFS Beginner’s Collection on page 81 it states, “The entire object of this ‘New Life’ Program is to come to this point: to the maturity of accepting ourselves and being responsible for ourselves and all that we do. By accepting responsibility for who we are and what we do, we have broken away from unhealthy dependencies upon others to see us through life.” This week I experienced a wonderful example of this.
Back in 2004, Hurricane Ivan made its way over our home and I laid on our living room floor crying, drunk and unable to think clearly. I felt paralyzed by fear and unable to cope. In 2007, I faced my fears and embraced sobriety. Reading, practicing and living the Statements as well as being involved with the WFS organization, I am able to respond with ever growing ability and when Hurricane Sally came through last week, I not only prepared in advance, but was able to help our elderly neighbor out as well. Thankfully, we had no damage and I was able to compare these experiences and reflect on the journey in between. Acknowledging continued independence, I am incredibly grateful for WFS.
It warms my heart to see and feel how much I have grown in my recovery. This week take a few moments to reflect and measure yourself with your own yardstick, with no comparisons to others. How is your life different today? What area of your life needs greater independence? Where can you balance your responsibility with those of others? Are you able to encourage independence?
Hi 4C Women,
For me, this was the catalyst for authentic change. I have always said that the WFS program is a life changer yet that is if we take the words we read and put action behind them. Each Statement is powerful and it is the willingness to risk stepping out of our comfort zone to act upon them that creates positive change. This particular Statement was a bit scary at first because I was still working on using the blame game for whatever went and was going wrong in my life. Little did I anticipate the freedom that would come with accepting every word of Statement 13. When I realized the ultimate power of being responsible for myself and for my actions, I felt as though I was flying on giant wings of freedom. I went from scared to empowered, strong, fearless and open to possibilities. Most importantly, I learned that mistakes were just that – a mistake that became a life lesson if I chose to view it that way.
I have been divorced almost 27 years – as long as I was married! I was sober when I got divorced yet I was still not prepared to be responsible for everything – you know, that blame game thinking. Little by little, I kept moving forward. When I look back now and think about the major challenges I faced and met, I can only thank the WFS program for steering me in an empowered direction. I bought my own car without help, found an apartment and then house in NJ for me and my 2 children and finally moved to AL, 1,000 miles away. That was probably the most difficult move because I left a 25 ½ year job I loved, friends and family in PA and NJ and while my daughter and granddaughter were here in Al, I truly felt I was walking into uncharted territory. In reflection it now seems odd to me as I had lived in AL 3 months after I was married and my children were born here. I think it is because I had become so independent that moving back felt as though I was going backwards. However, nothing could be further from the truth. That move gave me the opportunity to not only make peace with those feelings but to also utilize the strengths I had gained through the WFS program and sobriety and acknowledge other major changes and decisions I had made along this journey. Statement 13 really provided balance and confidence that I could do it and I did!
One thing I also learned over the years that in addition to learning to be independent, there is also an important facet of being interdependent. We need to have a strong support system which is how I see interdependency. We do not need to walk this journey alone. We are, however, in charge of our mind, our thoughts, and our life. I would like to add to that – our responses to what happens which goes back to being in charge!
I hope you will take the time to answer Karen’s questions. It is important to know and measure our personal growth – not compare – but to acknowledge what we’ve done and what we need to do to keep moving forward.
I’d like to share this poem with you:
Your life is a sacred journey
And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly & deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous risks, embracing challenges at every step along the way.
You are the path
Exactly where you are meant to be right now…
And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, beauty, wisdom, power, dignity & love.
Caroline Joy Adams
Bonded together in trusting our instincts, creating our New Life journey by being in charge of ourselves and our actions. Love, Dee