“Grieving doesn’t make you imperfect. It makes you human.”
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
Winnie the Pooh
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you’ll learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you’ve suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
#6 Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
Living in sobriety and recovery does not mean that life won’t be difficult, it simply means that you have the ability to be present in life no matter the experience. We have a choice. The WFS Statements provide a framework to guide us in New Life, even for those moments that feel truly heartbreaking.
In the past it was easy to just throw alcohol at uncomfortable feelings. Yet numbing out never addresses the experience and it can reappear in some other behavior, which is usually self-defeating. Everyone experiences grief in their lives, it is a human quality and today we even understand that animals can experience grief. Grief can come from any direction; from the feelings of loss of a relationship, health, job or cherished dream to the death of a pet, trauma or death of a loved one.
Statement #6 can be personally adapted to fit our needs when or if we are overwhelmed with emotion; Feelings are ordinary and I can experience grief. Grieving is moved through by a conscious effort. What is important to remember about grief or any other challenging emotion is that it is an individual experience. Everyone grieves differently. The critical aspect is to reach out when thoughts of drinking or using arise. We are an amazing community of strong women, bonded together, and together we can overcome anything.
Dear 4C Women,
I know that Karen wrote her part of the Monday Thoughts, especially with me in mind. My 51- year-old daughter passed away in my home on April 24 from kidney failure. I love how Karen adapted grieving to this Statement. I have received so much love and support ever since my daughter went into ICU and then came home under hospice care. She lived with me for 4 years and we had a strong relationship that I will be forever grateful for.
I am feeling numb, angry, sad, and all kinds of emotions. However, I am so glad that I was able to be here fully for her. I plan to stay sober to honor her and know that when she is looking down, she will be proud of her mom. She always talked about how I helped others and I needed to take care of myself sometimes. Well, it’s clear to me that I am being taken care of by the loving women in WFS. I found my purpose in life through WFS and the reward is that I have been shown love, kindness, and caring support. It’s a gift that I appreciate and need.
Writing my feelings has always been a healing process and that is why I wanted to share what is going on in my life right now to help me and hopefully those suffering with life’s challenges that seem impossible to cope with. I have learned through WFS to release my authentic feelings, let them flow, and reach out for help. It’s hard to talk about it but writing is the coping tool I find healing. This is going to be a long road and while I will not drink, I hope you will understand if I eat a lot of ice cream!
I want to thank the 4C women who have reached out and held my hand in virtuality. I felt the love. I especially want to thank Karen for helping me and others see this Statement in a way that I had never thought of before but needed and appreciate.
Bonded in healing, sharing, and seeking greatness in our New Life, Dee
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1 thought on “Monday Thoughts 5.1.23”
Dee, you are an amazing 4C woman. 💗