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“If life is a stage and you are your own agent, then don’t hesitate to play the character you wish to play.”
Richelle E. Goodrich
“You’ll never know who you are unless you shed who you pretend to be.”
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
#13 I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
Sobriety and Statement #13 in action lay a foundation for long-term recovery. While the Statements can be utilized in any order, this Statement is a part of Level Six of the WFS New Life Program which focuses on “A New Self.” But what exactly is a ‘New Self’? I am confident that if you asked ten different women what that means, you could get eleven different answers. However, one thing is for certain: it’s a New Life without a substance of choice.
For many women, including myself, it was easier to try to fit into someone else’s idea of what life was all about. It didn’t matter if I was trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. By adjusting who I was at the core for someone/thing else, it became a recipe for overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and lack. To combat this, alcohol was a tool (or so I thought) that I reached for but that simply broke the round peg.
Yet through that shattering, something beautiful emerged…A New Self! A self that could be molded into a perfect fit. Statement #13 asserts “I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.” It is incredibly freeing to simply be yourself. You are the designer of your life, so make it your own. Statement #13 is a reminder that it’s a process. You can shed parts that are no longer needed while embracing or inviting parts that you do desire. Today is a new day and a brand-new week, make it your own!
Hi 4C Women,
I am grateful for being in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life. Yet, there are still times when I do some wishful thinking that someone would take over my responsibilities for just a few days. Do you ever feel that way?
With the holidays, it seems more challenging and I try to follow my own advice about giving something up to give myself more self-care time without guilt. Now I think that qualifies as being responsible!
For the first time in many years, I did not wear myself out with over-decorating. A lot of that has to do with the pain I’ve been experiencing. Yet, as I looked around my snowman extravaganza, I still experienced joy. When I was drinking, I pretended to be someone I was not. I did what was expected and never thought of asking for help or lessening my tasks. WFS has helped me to realize the strength in asking for support even when I still feel slightly uncomfortable, to do less and be honest about my limitations, and to find joy in what I can accomplish.
I do this exercise each year with the group I moderate. I provide them with 3 questions to answer, a small gift bag of their choice and ask them to put this bag under their tree or whatever holiday they celebrate in order to practice self-care, have recognition of the blessings they received, and acknowledge the changes they have made during the year. It’s the gift they give to themselves and to always put themselves on that gift list.
1. Acknowledgment of positive change(s) made this year
2. Blessing(s) received this year
3. Self-care plans for 2023
I hope you will consider doing this for yourself in acknowledging your personal growth and creating plans to continue being in charge of your mind, your thoughts, and your life. Be the gift you want and deserve to receive.
Bonded in being responsible, in charge, being authentic, and practicing self-care, Dee
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