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Monday Thoughts 12.19.22

women for sobriety decorative image responsibility

“If life is a stage and you are your own agent, then don’t hesitate to play the character you wish to play.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

“You’ll never know who you are unless you shed who you pretend to be.”

Vironika Tugaleva

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#13 I am responsible for myself and for my actions.

I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

Sobriety and Statement #13 in action lay a foundation for long-term recovery. While the Statements can be utilized in any order, this Statement is a part of Level Six of the WFS New Life Program which focuses on “A New Self.”  But what exactly is a ‘New Self’? I am confident that if you asked ten different women what that means, you could get eleven different answers. However, one thing is for certain: it’s a New Life without a substance of choice.

For many women, including myself, it was easier to try to fit into someone else’s idea of what life was all about. It didn’t matter if I was trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. By adjusting who I was at the core for someone/thing else, it became a recipe for overwhelming feelings of inadequacy and lack. To combat this, alcohol was a tool (or so I thought) that I reached for but that simply broke the round peg.

Yet through that shattering, something beautiful emerged…A New Self! A self that could be molded into a perfect fit. Statement #13 asserts “I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.” It is incredibly freeing to simply be yourself. You are the designer of your life, so make it your own. Statement #13 is a reminder that it’s a process. You can shed parts that are no longer needed while embracing or inviting parts that you do desire. Today is a new day and a brand-new week, make it your own!

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

I am grateful for being in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life. Yet, there are still times when I do some wishful thinking that someone would take over my responsibilities for just a few days. Do you ever feel that way?

With the holidays, it seems more challenging and I try to follow my own advice about giving something up to give myself more self-care time without guilt. Now I think that qualifies as being responsible!

For the first time in many years, I did not wear myself out with over-decorating. A lot of that has to do with the pain I’ve been experiencing. Yet, as I looked around my snowman extravaganza, I still experienced joy. When I was drinking, I pretended to be someone I was not. I did what was expected and never thought of asking for help or lessening my tasks. WFS has helped me to realize the strength in asking for support even when I still feel slightly uncomfortable, to do less and be honest about my limitations, and to find joy in what I can accomplish.

I do this exercise each year with the group I moderate. I provide them with 3 questions to answer, a small gift bag of their choice and ask them to put this bag under their tree or whatever holiday they celebrate in order to practice self-care, have recognition of the blessings they received, and acknowledge the changes they have made during the year. It’s the gift they give to themselves and to always put themselves on that gift list.

1.    Acknowledgment of positive change(s) made this year
2.    Blessing(s) received this year
3.    Self-care plans for 2023

I hope you will consider doing this for yourself in acknowledging your personal growth and creating plans to continue being in charge of your mind, your thoughts, and your life. Be the gift you want and deserve to receive.
Bonded in being responsible, in charge, being authentic, and practicing self-care, Dee

Donate While You Shop – At No Cost To You!

Did you know you can donate to worthy causes like Women for Sobriety while you shop for holiday gifts when you use AmazonSmile?

AmazonSmile is a website operated by Amazon with the same products, prices, and shopping features as Amazon.com. The difference is that when you shop on AmazonSmile, you can elect to donate 0.5% of your purchase to the charity of your choice – at no cost to you. This includes WFS!

If you already shop on Amazon, or if you’re looking for the perfect holiday gift for your loved one, we invite you to shop at smile.amazon.com and select Women for Sobriety as your charity of choice.

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Monday Thoughts 12.5.22

Women for Sobriety enthusiasm next exit sign

“Enthusiasm has an almost magical path to a happy and successful life.”

Patti Blamire

“The passion of genuine enthusiasm is an energy you can generate yourself. How? Simple: by focusing your time, effort, and energy on those ideas, activities and pursuits that get you excited.”

Rita Davenport

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”

Aristotle

#11 Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.

I treasure the moments of my New Life.

Self-care is an active part of practicing Statement #11. Self-care is not selfish; in fact, self-neglect would be the opposite. Before sobriety and recovery, neglect was commonplace. Self-care is also multi-faceted; we can apply it physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or spiritually.

Initially, I thought self-care was all about massages and manicures. While those two activities can definitely be something to look forward to, identifying basic needs leads the way toward taking care of self. What are our basic needs? If you look at Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs” it begins with survival such as air, water, food, shelter, and sleep, then progresses to security and safety, next is the need to belong, followed by the need for esteem (self-worth, respect, competence, etc.), and lastly the need for self-actualization: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

Sobriety is the beginning of self-care and when basic needs are met, treasuring our New Life feels natural.  In our WFS Program booklet, it states “Enthusiasm adds fire to life and provides the energy for accomplishment.” Some days Statement #11 is a feeling of immense wonder at the world, other days it is the smallest of gestures that catch my eye or heart. Either way, it is a feeling of contentment infused with joy that flows from daily self-care. This week, identify ways to practice self-care. Here are 4 ways to jump into caring for ourselves:

1.   Recovery: Read the 13 WFS Statements each morning, and choose one to focus on each week. What can you do to insure your sobriety? Create a 5-point plan to prepare.

2.   Sleep: Watch screen time and caffeine, both of which can interrupt sleep. Create a comfy nighttime routine to train your mind and body that it is time to rest.

3.   Meals: Sugar can cause cravings and make it difficult to relax. Eat protein, and focus on balanced meals.

4.   Connection: Isolation can be dangerous to sobriety. We need connection in our New Life, the newly updated WFS Online Forum is available 24/7.

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

Feeling enthusiastic can be challenging for some, especially at this time of the year. When I was married, I was the person who made the holidays happen. As a single woman, that responsibility hasn’t changed. However, I still get excited when I start decorating as it creates such fun and loving memories. It is the added overwhelming tasks that accompany the everyday tasks that can take an emotional and physical toll.

Several years ago, I decided to reduce activities that no longer gave me that wonderful feeling of enthusiasm. The first to go was baking cookies as it really wasn’t joyful for me. I felt guilty at first because this was a huge tradition in my family. Each year, I felt so much better and my enthusiasm grew for doing the things I enjoyed. This is pure self-care. The next was sending cards to people I saw every day. Just that one additional change gave me time to write a personal note to those not close by that I cared about and missed. I began to think of enthusiasm as being grateful – grateful that I am in charge of making choices that bring me that enthusiastic joy.

I agree with Karen’s initial impression of self-care and how she began to realize that it was about feeling contentment infused with joy. Since I keep my tree up all year, I have learned that joy comes with each change of season decorating. It makes those necessary and added tasks more bearable. I am also learning that it’s okay when I feel less than enthusiastic. It’s a temporary feeling which means for me that I may feel this way for an hour, a day, or a few days but it will not stay as it did in my drinking days. It stayed way too long and controlled me rather than me looking for solutions, a joyful distraction. Thank goodness for this Statement that alerts me to the need for a positive change.

I once read an article on enthusiasm and it said to be yourself! Pretending is so draining. This is why I acknowledge my authentic feelings. Those feelings are telling me something and I am learning to listen. This has evolved at times to give me a purpose, a reason to put a smile on my face and make a difference in my attitude – back to gratefulness.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or drained of energy doing what is “expected” of you, perhaps think about giving up one task that takes away your enthusiasm, your joy in doing. What would that be? With more “you” time and energy, what activity would you enhance or do that you’ve been wanting to do?

Bonded in self-care, gratitude, and feeling enthusiastic in the process, Dee

Donate While You Shop – At No Cost To You!

Did you know you can donate to worthy causes like Women for Sobriety while you shop for holiday gifts when you use AmazonSmile?

AmazonSmile is a website operated by Amazon with the same products, prices, and shopping features as Amazon.com. The difference is that when you shop on AmazonSmile, you can elect to donate 0.5% of your purchase to the charity of your choice – at no cost to you. This includes WFS!

If you already shop on Amazon, or if you’re looking for the perfect holiday gift for your loved one, we invite you to shop at smile.amazon.com and select Women for Sobriety as your charity of choice.

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Monday Thoughts 11.14.22

“Stepping onto a new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation which is not nurturing to the whole woman.”

Maya Angelou

“A part of me wants to keep my eyes closed and pull the covers over my head, block out the light trying to be turned on in my room….a part of me is so afraid to open my eyes because the very nature of waking up is to be aware, to be accountable, to be responsible for the healing of my life.”

Sarah Blondin

“You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.”

Louise Hay

#8 The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

Sobriety and Statement #8 are a portal for hope and healing. Before New Life, it was difficult to understand how anything could change, and I certainly had no concern about growth. Everything was a reaction to situations and alcohol only fueled the fire of already intense drama.

This Statement lays the foundation for growth, which is what sobriety and recovery are all about. The WFS Levels of recovery can identify movement and progress and can offer direction where development may be needed. It is important to remember that recovery is not necessarily a straight line like in this image, but more often than not it is all over, bouncing from one level to the next.

As your sobriety and recovery journey evolves, note where you are at the moment and embrace your growth. You have worked hard to be where you are. Keep aware of progress, set manageable goals, and set your priorities. Stay flexible and savor your 4C journey!

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

Jean Kirkpatrick was so wise in having us identify ourselves as 4C women; that substance abuse was not our identity but how we coped. In recognizing recovery, I have always focused on the positive changes made. This is how I have practiced Statement #8 with sobriety as my priority and working towards emotional and spiritual growth and healing. My first priority was to become a facilitator. It gave me purpose, direction, and meaning. It still does.

After all these years, I am still learning from the women in the meetings and the friends I have made along the way. I think about all the WFS conferences I have attended (28) and the phenomenal information I gathered in helping me to move forward, heal, uncover, and discover my worth. One of the women in the group I facilitate said that she adds “discard” to those two words. And it dawned on me how true that is! I learned to discard the untruths that I formerly used to describe me, let go of the past filled with pain and discarded the blame game in taking responsibility for my mind, thoughts, and life. That’s quite empowering and I hope you each recognize and give yourself credit for the positive changes you are making.

Whether you are sober one day, one year, or several years, I hope you will take the time to consider all the changes you have made, including discarding those that no longer serve your well-being and writing them down.  When you begin to doubt yourself, your changes on that list will be the applause you deserve. As Karen said, “embrace” your growth whether you have one positive change or several on your list. Always remember that it is the change that matters and how it is impacting your life, and your recovery.

To better understand your priorities, how do you define emotional growth, and what that feels like?

How do you define spiritual growth and what that feels like?

Bonded in healing and growth in your emotional and spiritual journey, Dee

WFS Levels of Recovery


Level 1 –
Acceptance of having a substance use disorder, one that requires the cessation of substance abuse.
Statement 1

Level 2 –
Discarding negativity, releasing guilt, and practicing new ways of viewing and solving problems.
Statements 2, 4 & 9

Level 3 –
Creating and practicing a new self-image.
Statements 5 & 12

Level 4 –
Using new attitudes to enforce new behavior patterns.
Statements 3, 6 & 11

Level 5-
Improving relationships as a result of our new feelings about self.
Statements 7 & 10

Level 6 –
Recognition of life’s priorities; emotional and spiritual growth plus self-responsibility.
Statements 8 & 13

Donate While You Shop – At No Cost To You!

Did you know you can donate to worthy causes like Women for Sobriety while you shop for holiday gifts when you use AmazonSmile?

AmazonSmile is a website operated by Amazon with the same products, prices, and shopping features as Amazon.com. The difference is that when you shop on AmazonSmile, you can elect to donate 0.5% of your purchase to the charity of your choice – at no cost to you. This includes WFS!

If you already shop on Amazon, or if you’re looking for the perfect holiday gift for your loved one, we invite you to shop at smile.amazon.com and select Women for Sobriety as your charity of choice.