Negative thinking is contagious. Do your best not to dwell on negativity, it will consume you and prevent you from becoming your best self.” ~~Germany Kent
“Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success.” ~~Charles F. Glassman
“Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.” ~~Lalah Delia
What? Me? Negative? Uh, no way. Never. These are some words that were frequently a part of my vocabulary before New Life. Denial kept me locked in active addiction for years, yet moving into sobriety was the beginning of CHANGE, an acronym for Choose Having A New Growth Experience.
Sobriety and Statement #2 in action create a sense of balance and can offer ease and contentment. Starting with awareness of thoughts, which can feel overwhelming at first, opens the door to identifying, understanding and lastly, managing thoughts.
In our WFS Program booklet it states “Negative thoughts can destroy us in many ways. An important aspect of negative thoughts for us is that such thoughts often precede using or drinking. A state of “what’s the use?” or “who cares?” can initiate an attempt to escape from reality.”
Here are some examples of negative thinking along with opportunities to change them:
1. All or nothing, or black/white thinking:
“I will never be able to _______.” Instead, “I may or may not achieve ______ the first time I try, but I will do my best and can learn along the way.” What is in the gray area in between? Will this line of thinking help or hurt me? Or take me further towards or further away from sobriety?
2. Catastrophizing:
“It will be a disaster” or “It will never work.” Instead, “I am open to experiencing what is in front of me.” Or “I have everything I need within me to succeed or move through this.” Challenge these thoughts and embrace growth.
3. Shoulding or blaming:
“They/he/she/I should do/don’t/be__________”. Instead, let go of judgments or blame and focus on compassion “They/he/she/I am trying to understand and they/he/she/I am not their/my behaviors and/or embrace that you do not have all the answers.
4. I’m not good enough:
“I don’t measure up.” Instead, name your strengths. No one but you has your set of insights and understanding. You are an important part of the human experience and you are worthy of receiving what you want in life. You are capable, competent, caring and compassionate.
Hugzzz
Karen
Dear 4C Women,
Negative thoughts are a natural thought process. It is how we hold onto them, how they cloud our thinking/decision making and hinder our ability to learn not only how to stop them from becoming harmful but also ways to change our thinking process. It is what I appreciate about WFS. We are given tools to help us achieve a positive attitude when it seems impossible. I mention this often because I feel so strongly about it and that is how critical it is to acknowledge our feelings. How can we learn to change our thoughts, our actions, if we don’t acknowledge authentic feelings? If I am angry, disappointed, sad or a myriad of other feelings, how can I gain insight as to why if I pretend they don’t exist?
I have been struggling with anger and disappointment over a family issue and it’s taking a lot of digging deep to figure out why I am so affected and what is within my control to change it. What I’ve discovered is the only control I have is how I approach it after I uncover the deepest feeling. That feeling is fear. It would be so much easier if it were my personal issue because I have control over my response, my willingness to be proactive and do what I feel needs to be done. Thankfully, even though I am filled with fear, I have learned to speak my voice, to be heard. And therein is the most challenging issue of all – to be heard when I speak my truth, to be understood. Yet I won’t let that possibility of being dismissed or ignored stop me. My words may not be received as I hoped yet if I say nothing, then nothing changes, no seed is planted for a better communication and a path towards healing. As I look at Karen’s examples, I realize I have experienced all of the negative thoughts and gratefully, have been able to put into action many of the empowering suggestions she made.
This is from the Inner Critic (known also as our inner dialog, scripts or tapes) workshop Nina and I presented at a WFS conference:
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Patrick Overton
To stop the inner critic, the negative thoughts, start creating an awareness when the inner critic begins its attack and change the message asap! You can name your inner critic as I have and when it appears, I look over my shoulder and flick it off with a few strong words. I have the ability to reduce its impact but only if I am aware of its presence. Old messages, old tapes are a big clue that this is no longer your truth in the present.
This is from the Inner Critic (known also as our inner dialog, scripts or tapes) workshop Nina and I presented at a WFS conference:
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Patrick Overton
To stop the inner critic, the negative thoughts, start creating an awareness when the inner critic begins its attack and change the message asap! You can name your inner critic as I have and when it appears, I look over my shoulder and flick it off with a few strong words. I have the ability to reduce its impact but only if I am aware of its presence. Old messages, old tapes are a big clue that this is no longer your truth in the present.