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“I chose sober because I wanted a better life. I stay sober because I got one.”~~Unknown
“Live less out of habit and more out of content.” ~~Unknown
“Sometimes when in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, when actually you’ve been planted.” ~~Christine Caine
#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my well-being.
I accept the responsibility.
It is fitting that we are closing out the year with Statement #1. The end of the year or New Year’s Eve has historically been a time of drinking and/or overindulgence, but looking closely, it’s just a routine or habit, simple as that. It is not permanent. Routines evolve and habits can be changed. The same is true for drinking or using. The end is a new beginning thanks to effort and action into Statement #1.
Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. knew that she needed to do something different, and was eager to learn how to change and adapt. Incredibly resilient, Jean took her inklings and intuition and created Women for Sobriety. It was new and it was different. No one had ever focused on just the needs of women in recovery before. She had left the place of shame, regret, and guilt behind her and set out on a new adventure, and in the process, continues to help women today embrace a sober New Life.
Welcome if you are new here! Jump into your New Life and explore. You will find women who feel just like you, who understand and who care. You are invited to learn, grow, share, connect….Women for Sobriety is a soft, comfortable landing place. Settle in. This is also a wonderful time to instill a new routine and review your sobriety/recovery and adjust goals and aspirations. Close this year with a fresh outlook and an open heart and mind!
Dear 4C Women,
Jean was a true pioneer in helping women to heal from guilt and shame. Over the years I have shared Nancy Cross’s message regarding the Guilt Trip. While some of you may have traveled already or are at your destination or at home with your thoughts about shame and guilt during this holiday season, Nancy’s words still ring true for many of us, especially during the past couple of years when there has been more isolation and time for reflection. So here goes –
The Holiday Season usually brings a busy travel season. I do hope none of you have booked (or are planning to book!) this trip.
The Guilt Trip
I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I’m talking about my annual “Guilt Trip.”
I got tickets to fly there on “Wish I Had” airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what might have been.
No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the “Regret City” International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town. As I checked into the “Last Resort” Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year’s most important event, the “Annual Pity Party.” I wasn’t going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the town’s leading citizens would be there.
First, there would be the Done family, you know … Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know old Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterdays. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Then Shattered Dreams would surely make an appearance. And It’s Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don’t Blame ME} and I Couldn’t Help It.
Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing’ so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent “pity party” could be canceled by ME! I started to truly realize that I did not have to be there. I didn’t have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN’T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging.
Knowing this, I left the “City of Regret” immediately and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I’ve made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them. So, if you’re planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now! Instead, take a trip to a place called “Starting Again.” I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myself’s and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don’t have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival.
If you can find it, please look me up. I live on “I Can Do It” Street. – Meg Schell –
Bonded in healing as we take charge of our life and well-being, Dee
Hear more about Statement #1