I’m struck by the fact that many women out there want to ‘get it’ but don’t know how. The elusive ‘getting it’ – What the heck is ‘it’? You know, I know, she knows, we all know what ‘it’ is! The ‘it’ is a struggle-free sobriety, ‘it’ is staying sober, and I’ll go as far as to say that ‘it’ is also recovery.
You are going to change your life! Your old way of life isn’t working for you, so here’s how you can change it. It goes without saying that you must stop poisoning your system. Get rid of all the alcohol you have ~ dump it, flush it, don’t buy anymore of it… just get rid of it. Here’s an easy three-step plan on what you’ve got to do when you’re wanting to drink/use: 1. make a plan, 2. make a plan, 3. make a plan.
Ok, so what do you do? This getting it can be a hard thing to attain, I know. Getting it takes determination and work – that is all up to you! I can’t tell you exactly what your plan will be; your plan will be as unique as you are. And yes, YOU are a unique, special person. As we at Women for Sobriety (WFS) like to say – you are 4C – capable, competent, caring and compassionate. You’re changing your life, remember? And you’re going to start looking at yourself in a new way, a way that will let you lead a ‘New Life’ – one without having to drink/use to get through it.
Part of your plan might include asking a professional for help. Part of your plan might be using the WFS online forum–a lot. Part of your plan might be attending some sort of support meeting locally. Part of your plan might be going to work without any money/credit cards in your pocket/purse so that you can’t buy anything to poison yourself on the way home. Part of your plan might be figuring out a new routine to your day – maybe you’ll take a different route home; maybe you’ll do something else to relax at the end of the day. Your plan needs to be rock solid and air tight! There are so many great plan ideas on the WFS Online site. Check them out!
Let me also recommend that if you don’t have any WFS literature that you go about getting some, and while you wait for your order – go to the WFS website and read some of the great resources there. Read other information about addiction to learn what you’re doing to your body.
You need to take some time EVERY day (most people use quiet time in the morning) and reflect on the WFS Acceptance Statements, or concentrate on just one. Think about how that particular statement(s) applies to your life. Try thinking about your life with this slant on it, the New Life slant. Remember, your old life is not working for you. You’re NOT going to get through life anymore by drinking.
Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. is the founder of WFS and she authored several books and booklets. My all-time favorite is The Program Booklet. That little booklet costs just $5 and spells out how this New Life Program works – You may order it here!
I also highly recommend Goodbye Hangovers, Hello Life and Turnabout. If you feel you can’t afford them right now, go to your library and get them that way. If your library doesn’t have the books, get them through an inter-library loan – this is what I did initially, in a town of 535 people!
Are your eyes glazing over because you’ve read this before? Reading what Jean Kirkpatrick wrote is KEY to ‘getting’ this program. So are you going to pull out your excuse book and tell me why you can’t get anything on WFS to read? Get a grip, put the excuse book away, and start reading. Start changing your life today. You change by NOT drinking/using and by changing how you think and approach life. You CAN do this! The support you will receive from WFS participants is immeasurable, it is comforting and I am always awed at how amazing the women are. The WFS website and the new online site is full of great information. But YOU are the one who has to do the work of getting sober.
I ‘got it’ that I can’t drink/use anymore. My old way of life wasn’t working. I use the WFS New Life Program every day, because it helps me grow and thrive – emotionally and spiritually. It affirms that I am a 4C woman, and then some!
Statement 8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
Wishing you all the very best success in getting it. Believe you can do it!
Bonded,
Sue Kapacinskas
Certified WFS Moderator
Champaign, IL
Well said Sue! We used to always find excuses to not work on our sobriety when it is the most important things isn’t it? We can’t get well if we refuse to do the work. Thanks for the reminder.
My sobriety is indeed a precious thing to me, years after getting sober.
Thanks for your comment, Cali!
Wow! Great article that explains succinctly what to do when you open that door to sobriety and walk through it. Where to go? What to do? How to do it? I have experienced the life-saving effects of WFS online. I wouldn’t be coming up on 4 months sobriety if I hadn’t joined here and jumped in working the program and connecting with the amazing women here. Thanks! I will be sharing a link to this blog!
Thanks so much for your comment–and thanks for sharing a link to the article!
Glad you found WFS, Mary!
Got it! And it is a process for sure! Plan, plan, plan!!! Spend time with the statements every day. I purchased the beginners package and am so glad I did. I spend time in daily doing what I call my “sobriety work” reading, planning, posting, repeat!
Glad you found WFS and ‘got it!’ Keep going!
Thanks for your comment, too!
Thanks for the caring and compassionate, yet firm and no nonsense post. The tools are here for everyone, but as individuals each of us has to step on the path, settle in, do the work and trust the process. Then never, ever let down our guard against alcohol. My life is worth it.
Thank you for your comment.
You *are* worth it to make the effort! As long as we don’t pick up that first drink, we’ll be ok–whether we’re brand new in sobriety, 2 years, 4 years, 6 six 16 years or 23 years…wherever we’re at on the journey.
“take some time EVERY day (most people use quiet time in the morning) and reflect on the WFS Acceptance Statements, or concentrate on just one.”
This was the key for me. Super Busy wasn’t working for me. Quiet Contemplation and a well informed, continually reinforced sobriety does.
Same!
I also have made a recording on my smart phone of me reading the Statements. Sometimes I listen to them instead of reading through them. It is a pause for me, and just another way to get the Statements into my day!
Thanks for your comment!
This is a great blog, and what a resource for our newest members. I hope you don’t mind that I reposted it as a link in our New Members Area in the online forum! https://wfsonline.org/pages/welcome
I don’t mind that you added this article to that section at all. I’m flattered! Thanks!
And thanks for your comment!
Thank you for this post, Sue. It’s a good reminder of just how impactful the WFS program is if we choose to make it work for us. It’s not easy, but doable, and the resources and connections here are ample. I think the most important thing that women need to hold onto at the beginning of trying to get sober is never to give up trying. “It” will eventually click! Also, the one thing we can be sure of is that there is nothing that drinking will make better….you will never wake up in the morning wishing you had drank the night before! And to all you women out there, please know that this is possible. I never thought I could stop drinking, but here I am …. just celebrated 7 months. Keep at IT!
Thanks for your comment.
You make an important point–never give up. The addictive voice can be so strong-don’t feed it any longer! If we make a plan–removing alcohol/re-programming our thoughts with the Statements/using a support network that we can tap into, whether through a meeting or online,.
Keep going, Barbara–glad you found WFS!
Thank you for your post, Sue, and for the link to the Plans section at the WFS Online site. Creating a daily plan, a social event plan, a holiday plan, a stress relief plan, has helped me navigate many a difficult or challenging situation without turning to a glass, really a bottle, to numb myself. Plans were essential to my sobriety when I first embraced sobriety almost 14 months ago. They continue to play an important role as I go forward with joy in my New Life.
Thanks for your comment!
I’m glad you found the links in the article helpful—that’s thanks to the editors of the ISMT here!! Well done, ladies!
I have recently started to revisit the WFS literature that you discussed. It is timeless! What it meant to me when I first joined was so different than how it is received in my mind now. I agree that The Program Booklet is a “must have” reference! But I think your best piece of advice to “getting it” is to take time EVERY single day to till the soil of sobriety ~ adhering to my plan, focusing on the Statements, staying connected and being responsible for my actions! “Getting it” finally clicked with me thanks to WFS!
Thanks for your comment.
I agree with you–our interpretations of Dr. Kirkpatrick’s writings evolve with us over the course of our sobriety, great point.
Thank you so much!!