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Monday Thoughts 8.8.22

“It takes courage and strength to be empathetic.”

Jacinda Arden

“Find ecstasy in life: the mere sense of living is joy enough.”

Emily Dickinson

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”

Brené Brown


#7 Love can change the course of my world.

Caring is all-important


Statement #7 oftentimes is frequently referred to as one of the “love” Statements, yet all of the WFS New Life Acceptance Statements are intertwined with love.  Essentially, embracing sobriety and recovery is an act of self-love that changes the course of our world.

Over time, substance abuse disorders change brain circuitry and make it impossible for meaningful connections.  Before sobriety, I felt disconnected from everything yet was completely unaware that I had disconnected from myself.   In order to feel something, I either actively sought out drama or attempted to protect myself by making my world even smaller.  It was emotionally isolating and painful.

Initially, practicing Statement #7 did not come easy.  It felt foreign and uncomfortable, but it also felt promising.  The WFS Online Forum became a daily connection, I was learning so much and beginning to experience self-love.  My world began to grow and the changes felt empowering.  Gone was the need for drama, replaced with ripples of connection and expansion. Today, Statement #7 seems to ebb and flow like waves, with bursts of transformation followed by periods of stillness.  Either way, this 4C life is beautiful!

Here are four ways to engage and practice self-love and caring:

1.      Recognize, reduce and eliminate self-judgment:  Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a dear friend.  You deserve love, period.

2.      Trust yourself:  Acknowledge gains you’ve made, no matter how small.  Your trust will build on itself.

3.      Be true to yourself:  Identify your core beliefs and values. Recognize when you step out of your alignment.  Create, fulfill, and strengthen boundaries.

4.      Forgive yourself.  Self-forgiveness allows for inner growth and change.  Every day is an opportunity for caring.

Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

As I read Karen’s thoughts, it is so amazing how the WFS Statements all work together yet separately have such an empowering message in learning, growing, loving, and definitely hope.

The 4 points that Karen shared made me reflect on how the Statements fit together so beautifully.  These are my reflections.  Would love for you to think about which Statements you believe they represent.

1.        Reducing self-judgment is Statement #2.  So important in self-love and self-respect.

2.       Trusting ourselves is Statement #12 in knowing how competent we are, trusting we are 4C women with so much to offer.

3.       Forgiving myself was so difficult.  Yet, I realized that if I were to have a New Life in recovery, I needed to do just that.  Statement #9 always pulls me out of regret, shame, and wishes I had, to remember that I can’t change what happened but learn from it and make healthier, wiser choices.

4.       Being true to yourself for me is Statement #13 knowing we are responsible for our actions and setting boundaries to nurture and grow our self-worth.

Then there is Statement #7 in loving all of me, past included, in order to move forward.  Believing I was lovable seemed an impossibility.  I saw myself as broken, fake, needy, undesirable, and definitely unworthy of love.  But there is that word again that Karen shared – hope!  As I practiced the Statements, I began to understand how important loving myself would allow love in my life.  I could genuinely love myself and others.  It was as though I was learning to walk again, to reach out my arms for support, and then to give it back.  This was my New Life.

How we speak to ourselves is critical.  I had to unlearn my negative self-talk.  Loving myself also allowed me to be vulnerable, especially to my great fear of rejection.  That was huge.  Honestly, it was painful at times yet slowly I began to recognize that I was in charge of my life and my reactions.  I never would have thought that being authentic and loving myself would heal the need to be liked/loved by everyone.  While I love helping others more than anything, I also learned that I cannot be a doormat, and walked on with no consequence.  The consequence is that I move on, giving my caring and compassion from my heart and not just the need to please or be liked.  My love for others is so real and it gives me great joy.

As you go through this week, think about how:

you speak to yourself;

how you heal and move through the past, the lessons you have learned/learning;

how love is changing your world in concrete ways, moving from people pleasing to self-caring with compassion;

how brave you are to let love in and give love away authentically.

Bonded in knowing, expressing authentic love, and practicing self-care, Dee


women for sobriety holiday sale 2022 save the date

Mark your calendars! You are going to LOVE what’s coming in the Holiday Sale!

For more information join us on WFS Online in The Creative Crew connection group under Forums — or email [email protected]womenforsobriety.org  

Catalog will be available October 14.

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