“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”
“Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”
Don Miguel Ruiz
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”
#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.
This is what I am, and I shall know it always.
Sobriety and Statement #12 in action pave the way through fear. Until my mind cleared, it was impossible to comprehend overcoming any anxiety or fear held within. I was in complete denial regarding fear, my mouth said one thing while my actions spoke another. Today, thanks to practicing Statement #12, the support of the WFS community, and some therapy, I know I am a competent woman.
Yet I also accept and understand that I am not competent in everything, and more importantly, there is no need to be! Brain surgery is something I will never relate to, nor expect to understand yet I am grateful for those that do. No one has to know it all, and no one ever will. We each have abilities and skills that we engage in and develop. It is up to each of us to pave our own way and Statement #12 helps us do that.
A wonderful example of this begins with the WFS Forum. Reading post after post, experiencing the joy of sobriety and recovery firsthand, I warily began to share some thoughts online. After pushing through fears of the unknown and using Statement #12 as my new mantra, it felt exhilarating to hit that ENTER key. Connection! Our own 4C sister, Zeecha encouraged me to reach out further to share with our (former) paper newsletter, “Sobering Thoughts.” Fast forward to today…. now Dee and I write Monday Thoughts together. Even though I felt doubt and uncertainty, Statement #12 helped me move through the fear and do it anyway, and it still does, after all, I am a 4C woman!
Hi 4C Women,
I’d like to brag about Karen’s writing and leadership skills. Karen has been writing Monday Thoughts for several years and has written books on the Statements for WFS. She has been encouraging and supporting women through the WFS program as a facilitator and served on the WFS Board as president as well as other board positions. She is the epitome of a 4C woman. What’s even more wonderful for me is that we both live in Alabama where, before I arrived, there weren’t any meetings here. I share this to highlight how Statement #12 can make an incredible change in a woman’s New Life and inspire others to rise to the challenge.
I love how Karen expressed that we can be competent in diverse areas, not in everything. Thank goodness for that. If I had to base my competency on technology, I would be back to the days of extremely low self-esteem. No more measuring my competency by what I can’t do or what others can do. My competency is based on my skills, my talents, and my abilities.
I like repeating questions as you may have noticed. I date my answers and it’s fascinating to see the changes I’ve made in my current answers. So here we go …
1. I am worthwhile because…
2. I deserve…
3. I practice Statement 12 by doing…
4. Do I purposely take action to promote my own well-being? What action plan have I put into practice to do so?
5. Am I truly open to learning new ideas/change? What would be an example of that?
6. Do I make my own decisions or do I count on the opinion of others more? What is the last major decision you made and what led you to that choice? (It is fine to get input from others as there are times when a situation is overwhelming and we need encouraging support and insight from others who won’t judge or criticize – 4C sisters for sure.)
These questions need time and thoughtful reflection. I hope you will take that time. Remember, this is about you and your worth, your definition of who you are, and what might need to change or even remain the same. Personal growth takes place throughout our lives and there are times when we need to acknowledge our hard work and others to gain insight into what needs our attention.
Bonded in knowing we are willing and open to becoming the most competent woman through practicing this empowering Statement, Dee