“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ~~Eleanor Roosevelt
“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions…do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” ~~Tina Fey
#5 I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
“Will people still like me? Will I fit in? Will I be treated differently?” These are just some of the questions that burned in my mind walking into this new sober life. Without a clue as to what was in store, sobriety and recovery became a healthy way of life thanks to the WFS Statements and the New Life Program.
Statement #5 is the foundation that all the other Statements build on. From those five simple words comes a life of fullness, balance, and authenticity. In the past, it was simple for me to try to “be” someone else. I was forever comparing and complaining, wondering how to be like them. I looked to everyone else for input into my life yet the cost was high…I lost myself. This Statement doesn’t read I am what someone else thinks…. It states triumphantly I am what * I* think!
In our WFS Program booklet, it states, “The way we experience our life is a result of our thoughts. With our mind, we shape our day.” Each morning I begin the day reading the Statements. It sets the tone for the day and helps keep my mind focused. With the endless supply of distractions in this world, this one act opens the door to keeping an eye on my thoughts. The awareness helps to identify patterns and connect with what matters to me. After all, I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman!
Dear 4C Women,
My addiction enhanced my lost feeling and it took a while for me to realize that in order to practice Statement #5, I had to take responsibility for finding the authentic me and be my own cheerleader. Part of that was setting boundaries with my own thoughts. Yes, my negative thoughts about who I was did not support the woman I yearned for, the woman I lost and left behind in my addiction.
I know we talk about setting boundaries for others in order to protect ourselves from toxic relationships. I finally understood that my negative thinking about myself was hindering any possibility of becoming the 4C woman I wanted to be. I set boundaries on my negative description of myself. The moment I started negative self-talk, I stopped and replaced it with positive self-talk. Even if it was one word, i.e., stupid, I would immediately change it to smart. I am smart. I am wise. I am becoming a 4C woman. It is amazing how after becoming sober, the negative thoughts were still there, an automatic response. It took consistency, commitment, and courage to practice Statement #5 and know that in changing my thoughts, I was on my way to believing I was and now am a 4C woman. One way to help identify the positive qualities you possess is to think about the inside gifts you have that you share with others, with the world. Nancy Cross once wrote in a message with a great question. “What Makes Me Unique?” We all have gifts, uniqueness, positive qualities that we need to acknowledge whenever the inner critic shows up trying to put the past into the present with old, destructive messages. We learn and grow each day on this amazing and challenging journey. It is what Jean learned about herself and then taught us – to release the past, build ourselves up with empowering, loving words, to keep moving forward with compassion for ourselves.
My favorite 5 questions, which includes courage, for Statement #5:
I am capable of….
I am competent in…
I am caring about….
I am compassionate about…
I express courage by…
Bonded in believing and living our lives as 4C women, Dee
Listen to an episode of The Think Courageously Podcast
Featuring Adrienne Miller from WFS