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Monday Thoughts 9/28/2020

“It’s a beautiful day to be sober.”  ~~Unknown

“Recovery is a process.  It takes time.  It takes patience.  It takes everything you’ve got.”  ~~Unknown

What is addiction, really?  It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress.  It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood.”  ~~Alice Miller
#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

I now take charge of my life and my well-being.

 I accept the responsibility.

The WFS New Life Program Acceptance Statements are a set of tools that when practiced daily, can cement sobriety and recovery.  Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. knew for a long time that she had a problem with alcohol. Yet, through her chaotic and emotional distress, she sought to understand herself deeply and Women for Sobriety was born.  Today, women all over the world are bonded together in overcoming our addictions.
Statement #1 kicks off the WFS New Life Program with the acceptance of taking charge of our addiction.  We stand in our strength and move forward.  Recalling the eve of my first day sober, I felt angry, afraid but excited too. Fearful of the uncertainty, I felt an excitement to leave behind the daily pain and anguish.  It was a life-changing moment of rebirth and the beginning of a New Life that I am grateful for.

Wherever you are in your journey, Women for Sobriety is with you.  With WFS Online and WFS Face to Face meetings (many are temporarily held online currently due to Covid), there are women who understand.  If you are struggling right now, reach out.  You are not alone, there is a compassionate woman who relates and understands.  Embrace yourself and your life, you are worthy of recovery!



Hi 4C women,

During this unusual time, I hear quite often that the most challenging thing is how to keep motivated.  It’s difficult enough without a pandemic with routines disrupted, social contact limited, health and financial concerns to consider. It is important to discover/uncover what motivates us to obtain and maintain our sobriety/recovery. 

In order to get started or stay on track, this is a good time to evaluate or re-evaluate what you value, what’s most important to you.  This is a personal, individual assessment and I encourage you to refrain from the “shoulds” when creating this list.  I remember the first time I worked on such a list and I found myself writing a lot of shoulds. 

The point of being completely honest with yourself as you write down your values, is that it has been proven that shame or guilt as a motivator simply doesn’t work.  Shame doesn’t heal addiction; it only damages it.  People who are shamed actually shut down and their personal growth stalls.  This is the time to give yourself more compassion and forgiveness.  These emotions provide a foundation of self-worthiness and self-love.  I found this quote from The Clearing website and it expresses how I view self-forgiveness:  True self-forgiveness isn’t a free pass to act poorly and cause harm to oneself and others.  Instead, it’s an expression of personal responsibility -the kind that can change your life for good. 

As you practice Statement #1 and complete your values list, do you see a pattern developing?  Are you spending much of your time on the things you value?  If not, how can you work on changing that?

As you begin the healing process in taking personal responsibility, remember these life lessons:

You are not what happened to you in the past

Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t

Struggling with problems is a natural part of growing

You’re not alone

You are not trapped; you just need to re-learn a few things

The end is a new beginning! 

May this time of healing and taking responsibility be that beginning of a New Life in recovery filled with self-love, self-forgiveness and the motivation to keep moving forward, Dee

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