“Often our thoughts are formed by past experiences, actions, and attitudes inherited from family and society. By understanding our thoughts, we can accept responsibility for our actions. We recognize we have options and choices.” ~~ WFS Program booklet
“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” ~~Steve Maraboli
“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry—all forms of fear—are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” ~~Eckhart Tolle
#13 I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts and my life.
As the holidays approach this week, I would like to share a post from our beloved Nancy Cross:
The Holiday Season usually brings a busy travel season. I do hope none of you have booked (or are planning to book!) this trip.
The Guilt Trip
I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I’m talking about my annual “Guilt Trip.”
I got tickets to fly there on “Wish I Had” airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what might have been.
No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the “Regret City” International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town. As I checked into the “Last Resort” Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year’s most important event, the “Annual Pity Party.” I wasn’t going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the town’s leading citizens would be there.
First, there would be the Done family, you know … Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know old Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterdays. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Then Shattered Dreams would surely make an appearance. And It’s Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don’t Blame ME} and I Couldn’t Help It.
Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing’ so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent “pity party” could be canceled by ME! I started to truly realize that I did not have to be there. I didn’t have to be depressed. One thing kepi going through my mind, I CAN’T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging.
Knowing this, I left the “City of Regret” immediately and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I’ve made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them. So, if you’re planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now! Instead, take a trip to a place called “Starting Again.” I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myself’s and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don’t have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival.
If you can find it, please look me up. I live on “I Can Do It” Street. – Meg S.
Statement 13·1 am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of MY mind, MY thoughts, and MY life.
Hi 4C Women,
I wrote my part of this message back in 2013 and when I looked at it again, I am struck by the fact that this message still speaks volumes to me. With so many planning trips during the holiday season, this message is one of caution to make sure your travel plans do not include any place described in the Guilt Trip but creating plans to be in the city of Starting Again filled with Hope.
2013: Wow, did that trip sound way too familiar to me! I lived and visited all of those places way too often, especially the “It’s Their Fault” area of town. Thank goodness for WFS and therapy that helped me unload that useless baggage and move into the town of “Starting Again.” It is certainly a more pleasant place to reside and while I may visit the “City of Regret” every once in a while, (I’m only human), it will never be my permanent residence. Fortunately, my brief visits to the “City of Regret” actually helps me to once again realize how much harm was caused by living there and that healing from the past is where I need to be. Regrets can be a teaching tool rather than a beating myself up tool because the past CANNOT be changed and I refuse to victimize myself over and over again by packing those bags of guilt until they fall over on me. Working on positive change is the baggage I pack to stay in my new town of “Starting Again.” What’s in your baggage? Where are you residing today? What’s your plan to move from the “City of Regret” to the town of “Starting Again”?
Bonded in creating our own journey, your 4C Sister