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Why I Choose Hard

Everyone has her own reasons for choosing to be sober. Often the motivation is due to repercussions from a particularly devastating binge. Other times it is the culmination of a series of worsening issues affecting health, relationships, job, or all of the above.

Once you are here, doing the work and making the lifestyle changes, what is it that drives you to continue? Let’s be honest, sobriety is not all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns. It’s downright difficult. It can be soul wrenching. It changes the trajectory of our lives and our relationships. Sometimes it means saying goodbye to people and habits that are no longer good for us. Becoming sober is as much a process of mourning as it is of rebirth.

So, what is it that keeps you on your sober path? For me, more than anything, it’s seeing and feeling the light coming back into my life. I often imagine I am sealed in a pitch-black room. Each tiny shuffle I take in my sobriety represents another pinpoint of light breaking through the darkness. As I inch further in my sobriety more light begins to stream through the walls and I not only see the brightness, but I begin to feel its warmth as well. As more holes of light accumulate, they start to overlap, changing individual spots into larger openings. I begin to see beyond my murky space.

I have a few windows now to gaze out on my world. What was once a dark and lonely place is becoming brighter every day. It’s warm and inviting. Someday, there will no longer be a wall at all; I will be out in the open with no need to hide. The shame and anxiety of those days marred by poison will be long behind me and a future filled with promise and hope will be stretched out before me. For now I am staying the course, even though it’s hard and it sometimes hurts, and it can feel scary. I choose my hard because there is light and life ahead of me.  

Statement 6:  Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.

Bonded, Becky
(24 days sober with WFS)

13 thoughts on “Why I Choose Hard

  1. Becky, your image of the dark room slowly being filled with light is so powerful and spot on! You are so right; the work is slow, demanding, and often exhausting at the beginning, but the only way out is through. And yes, one day you will realize that one whole wall is gone and you will be amazed when you see the light flooding that once desolate room. Keep going sister – you can do this!

    1. Thank you, I am so glad the analogy is relatable. We are all going through it together.

  2. Amazing post-great job.

    1. Thank you, I am so glad you enjoyed it

  3. Keep focused on that light! What you are starting to catch glimpses of is the joy and freedom that you will feel all the time! It can be frightening and hard in the beginning, but I promise you that your effort now will reap a magnitude of brightness that may even be difficult to imagine! Thank you for your beautiful post and your inspiration!

    1. Thank you Pat. I hope my thoughts can help someone else who is struggling.

  4. I love this, Becky! Your analogy of a dark room is such a great way to explain how it feels to become sober. Many of us expected that when we stopped drinking, suddenly everything would be fine, and our world would be full of light. That’s not how it works, and you described it so well. With time, patience, and work, the room does become filled with light and we can see our way out of it into our new lives.

    1. Beautifully articulated. Thank you.

      1. Thank you

    2. That is it exactly,it’s a work in progress. In the beginning I think it can be easy for someone to become disillusioned because everything isn’t fixed and wonderful all at once. Thanks for your thoughts!

  5. I think fear keeps me in sobriety and that is okay. I had a long sobriety then drank again for 10 years before I found WFS so I know how easy it is to become complacent and fall away from sobriety. It was ridiculously easy after 10 years of not drinking. So the fear of that keeps me honest. I check in with friends at WFS each day, still, after 13 years here now; and never want to fall down that dark hole again. You are right, the light is the thing, and I love it.

  6. Becky, it is hard that is so true. The reward as time goes on is a freedom that is truly wonderful.
    Keep going toward the light it is so worth the effort.

  7. A very good analogy of the move to sobriety thru WFS program. I kept going and today now the rewards of it. 29 yrs sober with more then white knuckles.

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