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“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.” ~~Roy T. Bennett
“The only person who can pull me down is myself and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” ~~C. Joybell C.
“Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution.” ~~David J. Schwartz
I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
Years ago, a teacher told me, and my parents that I didn’t have what it takes to achieve the goals that I wanted. For a long time, those words echoed in my mind whenever I wished to try something. I usually quit before even getting started. Looking back, I lived down to those comments. Then I got sober and Statement #12 became my new mantra.
Alcohol and/or drugs crush the ability to think, be and overcome. Instead of feelings of competence, feelings of lack, insecurity and fear tend to take over. With the practice of Statement #12, a new history can begin to be constructed.
In our WFS Program Booklet it states “Begin each day with an unshakable belief in your own competency. First the thought, then the reality. Believing you are a competent woman is giving to life. Know you are a competent woman.” Here are some helpful questions related to Statement #12:
- What are your strengths? Make a list and continue to add to it.
- Review moments in your life in which you felt competent. What was the process and what did it feel like?
- Did someone in the past influence you negatively? Take charge and know you have much to give life.
- Set realistic goals. Be persistent in your pursuits and break down the process into manageable pieces. Think of eating an elephant one bite at at time.
Hi 4C Women,
I, too, had a guidance counselor who told me I wasn’t college material at age 15. I accepted that definition and was convinced that I was stupid and had nothing to offer. I lived that lie for many years. Even when my former boss told me how she trusted me to handle things when she was on a business trip and how insightful I was, it didn’t compute in my mind that she may be right. It really wasn’t until I was in my mid 40s that I felt a glimmer of hope that I actually was competent, smart and had a lot to offer this world. I love how Karen says we can construct a new history. It is up to us to know our truth, not the lies we might tell ourselves based on another’s opinion or the guilt we are holding onto from our past that cannot be changed. What we can do is change our self-concept. In fact, I consider it our responsibility to do so and create a new uplifting, current and truthful mantra, one for the women we are today.
Dr. Phil talked about our 10 defining moments in his book “Self Matters.” I considered the one with my guidance counselor to be in the top ten as it changed or perhaps confirmed my low self-esteem definition of how I saw myself back then. A person in authority validated my erroneous definition of who I thought I was.
There were questions Dr. Phil posed for each defining moment and it was followed by asking the participant to identify the “before” and the “after” in their self-concept. It was enlightening to realize that while I clung to the negativity of that one moment, I learned through WFS and life experience, that I was in charge of rejecting that moment and creating a new one that was empowering. I also learned that the 10 defining moments can be positive ones as well. I remember my stepfather staying home with me when I was very ill as a grade school-er and teaching me to read with his great patience and love. Dr. Phil also said that we all need thousands of kind, loving and caring remarks to erase one hurtful, painful comment. This is why we repeat that we are competent women at our meetings until we believe it in our gut and why we need to wake up each morning with a positive mantra that highlights our remarkable selves as Statement 12 expresses.
What would be your mantra?
Bonded in being competent women and knowing it ALWAYS!
4C WFS Member