“The road to success is always under construction.” ~~Lily Tomlin
“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” ~~Rikki Rogers
“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” ~~Eleanor Roosevelt
Problems bother me only to the degree I permit.
I now better understand my problems.
I do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
Women in recovery have incredible strength and are able to overcome problems of every size and shape. Sobriety and the WFS New Life Program, especially Statement #4 in action, offers connection, understanding and the creation of solutions.
Alcohol or drugs sever the ability to problem solve and distort what the problem may actually be. With Statement #4, strategies can be developed and each success builds on the next. By practicing this Statement, we can choose better understanding instead of doubt or disaster. We can learn to ask for help. We can discover some problems do not even belong to us.
Statement #4 can also encourage us to reach down to our core and learn about our beliefs. We also have the opportunity to challenge those beliefs if they do not benefit us. Henry Ford once said “Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” If we feel deep down, or fully believe we have the ability, success is within reach.
How are your problem-solving skills different today than before your New Life? Have you challenged any outdated belief systems?
Hi 4C Women,
Statement #4 always reminds me of setting priorities, especially when there are real concerns to be addressed. When everything feels like a problem, how can we discern between a need to problem-solve and let go of what we have little or no control over. I have a couple of ways I cope with feelings of frustration such as journaling, writing a letter I won’t send, crying to release the tension rather than give it more power, reaching out to those I feel safe with and trust. I am also a list maker. It is another one of the coping tools that has helped me when I feel overwhelmed and need to prioritize. At this moment, I am in that place. So, I make a list and ask myself the following questions which I have used often in prioritizing.
- What are the consequences of NOT changing this situation or behavior?
- What do I feel I have at stake in this situation?
- What am I willing to let go of?
- What benefit am I getting out of keeping things the same way?
- Do I need to review the boundaries I have set and whether or not I am adhering to them?
- Have I reached out to my support system for input, comfort and understanding?
- Do I care more than the other person in this situation? If I do, why?
These questions help me tremendously in organizing my thoughts and begin looking for possible solutions and moving away emotionally from “problems” that are out of my control and most importantly, not valuable use of my time and energy. If you are facing a concern that needs your attention, I am hoping some of the coping tools I have used and the questions listed will help you prioritize and begin to problem-solve as needed.
Bonded in creating priorities and problem-solving skills,
4C WFS Member