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“Tennis is mostly mental. Of course, you must have a lot of physical skill, but you can’t play tennis well and not be a good thinker. You win or lose the match before you even go out there.” ~~ Venus Williams
“Never believe for a second that you are weak, within all of us we have a reserve of inner hidden strength.” ~~Victoria Addino
“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” ~~Eckhart Tolle
Whether our interest lies in tennis, fancy cuisine or recovery, our thoughts are a critical aspect and steer the direction we take. Venus Williams states quite honestly; “You win or lose the match before you even go out there.” Jean understood this concept well and created Statement #5 to center the WFS New Life Program.
Instead of feeding the mind junk food, such as when ruminating on failure, fear or lack, there is an opportunity to pause and examine exactly what the mind is chewing on. This can be a novel concept when alcohol or drugs have previously hijacked thinking. With the clarity of sobriety, practice of Statement #5, thoughts can be prepared, processed and managed.
In Jean’s book Turnabout, she writes “The philosophy behind the whole program of Women for Sobriety is based upon the concept of our thoughts creating the world in which we live. First the thought and then the action. In another paragraph Jean goes on to write, “We must begin forming our world by beginning with our mental environment and accepting responsibility for our thoughts…. which dictate the actions to follow. No longer can we allow, or permit, circumstances to mold us. We are larger than circumstances.” “Exercise your mind and direct your thoughts.” Free your mind and a 4C life follows!
Hi 4C Women,
I’ve shared this bit of history before yet whenever I read Statement #5, I am brought back to that moment when I was a teen, asking my bio father if he would buy me a $25 bathing suit for my birthday. I can still here his response as though it were yesterday – “Who in the hell do you think you are, Miss Reading” (my hometown). I was crushed, humiliated and felt so rejected by that comment. I was use to his insults but somehow this cut a bit deeper. My mom and stepdad both worked in factories and they decided that I was worth that $25 and bought me the bathing suit. Still, so many years later, I can feel the sting of those hurtful words. Other things happened along the way that only added to the pain. I realized after going to therapy and having clarity by not drinking, that I chose to marry a man who rejected me as well, thinking I could rewrite history and prove myself lovable and worthy.
Statement #5 and Jean’s words were a huge revelation for me. I’m human and while I can still feel the pain of my father’s words, I KNOW the truth of who I am today. I am in charge of my identity and not a lie from the past. My father definitely had issues and he chose me to unburden his pain. My sister was shown love and usually got what she asked for from him yet, today, I am grateful because I have been given the tools to heal and create my authentic identity.
Here are 4 questions from last year. If you answered them back then, I hope you dated and kept them and out of curiosity, see the differences or similarities from that date. If this is the first time you are answering these questions, be sure to date it and keep it for future reference:
I am capable of: ____________
I am competent in: __________
I am caring about: __________
I am compassionate about: _____
I am enough, I have enough, I do enough
Bonded in accepting who I am today,
4C WFS Member