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“Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.’
“You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”
“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”
#5 I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
Sobriety was a terrifying thought before my New Life yet I knew for a long time that something needed to change. Over the years, alcohol altered my thinking while creating worsening chemical imbalances. This negatively impacted my personality and affected decision-making, impulse control plus a myriad of other functions. Gratefully, WFS and Statement #5 in action helped change this.
Through the WFS Online Forum and numerous face-to-face meetings, 4C women share how this life-saving program helps shift thinking and bring about lasting recovery and change. In her book, Goodbye Hangovers Hello Life, our founder Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD states, “Say it a hundred times a day: ‘I am what I think.’ Then make up several sentences to be repeated after that. Tell yourself with every breath, ‘I am a capable person.’ In addition to thinking it, begin to know it. This is not making up a false picture. This is coming to know the real you. You are a capable person. You probably always have been but have defeated yourself in everything you attempted before ever getting started.” “The time to ensure our recovery is now. And this is the most important of all things for us to learn and put into practice: feeling genuinely good about ourselves is the way we will be.”
This week, make it a goal to add four more empowering sentences to your sobriety toolbox to reinforce recovery. Begin with acknowledging a negative thought. For example, “I don’t know how to live without alcohol.” This line of thinking is focused on returning to prior self-defeating behaviors instead of planting empowering words such as “I use my internal strength to move through discomfort” or “I am open to learning new tools.” Shifting thoughts and daily practice of Statement #5 enables the planting, growth, and cultivation of balance and well-being.
Dear 4C Women,
Reflecting on last week’s Monday Thoughts and the list of Brene Brown’s core values, really helped me in thinking of how I speak to myself in those silent moments or when faced with how I am reacting to a situation. Do I acknowledge I am doing the best I can, encourage myself in knowing what matters the most to me (caring and justice), or ignore my core values and falsely demean myself needlessly? I have experienced this in my grief. I find myself judging my responses and reactions. Am I being too needy or appearing strong when I understandably feel just the opposite? At the beginning of using the WFS program, I felt unworthy of believing that Statement #5 related to me. I felt the caring and compassion for others but not for myself. I thought about that a lot and finally realized that those 4Cs were about me as well as how I felt towards others. I am worthy and deserving of valuing myself. Whew! It was quite a journey to that acceptance.
Nina and I did a workshop on the Inner Critic many years ago at the WFS conference. We focused on Statement #5 as it seemed the best one for learning how to challenge the Inner Critic. I had had such a close relationship with my inner critic. It kept me trapped in my low self-esteem, negative image of who I believed I was, and fear of change. Working with Nina was such a powerful learning experience for me and then the workshop participants. She encouraged the participants to challenge their inner critic. There was an air of skepticism in being asked to see and accept the positive qualities they possessed yet this Statement was clear in saying they were 4C women and now was their time to believe it.
How did I live, function, and love myself while using alcohol as my coping tool? The simple answer – I didn’t. I thought I was but WFS showed me a whole new way of coping. This is why I have remained sober because I need to experience my feelings even when they are deeply painful. It leaves the door open to joyful moments and to learn more about who I am in each stage of recovery. I have shared my favorite mantra in the past, “Life is change, growth is possible, choose wisely.” That mantra has never been truer for me than in 2023. Over the years, I have been through a divorce, the loss of my parents and other family members and dear friends, 13 moves, and the passing of my daughter 9 months ago. I have also been blessed to have a granddaughter who lives close by, a son in CA (not close by at all!), wonderful memories of cherished family members, and friends, and loving support from so many people. I am a 4C woman and I have to include courageous as that is how I see myself now.
I hope you take the time to create empowering phrases when doubt sets in, a positive mantra that supports your deserving worth, and add some other Cs to your 4C. Bonded, Dee
In February, we’re embarking on a journey of self-celebration and self-love like never before. We’ve meticulously planned four exciting events to nurture the relationship we have with ourselves. Our month-long “Love Yourself” daily calendar sets the tone for this self-love journey, encouraging small gestures of self-affection every day.
Mark your calendar to join us for fun, laughter, and self-care:
- Saturday, 2/10 at 1 PM ET and 9 PM ET for Spa Day, with a special Zoom link
- Wednesday, 2/14 at 6 PM ET for a Galentine’s Hangout, with a special Zoom link
- Sunday, 2/25 at Noon ET and 8 PM ET for Game Day, with a special Zoom link
- Sunday, 2/25 at 4 PM ET for WFS Recovery Meeting with Jean, WFS President, with a special Zoom link
And be sure to download our Self-Love Crossword puzzle and February Calendar with these two QR Codes! More details to come.