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“Today, be the reason someone feels loved.”
“I don’t know where I am going, but I am on my way.”
“Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.”
#7 Love can change the course of my world.
Caring is all-important.
Sometimes sobriety can feel complicated and even long-term recovery can pose intricate situations where uncertainty rules. Yet, breaking it back down to basics can create ease and can lessen difficult complications. Statement #7 in action leads the way.
In her book Goodbye Hangovers Hello Life, our founder Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes, “Being able to love others and receiving their love are almost a second stage in our recovery process.” “We must repair ourselves, and then we will be able to love others and to receive love in an adult and mature way. We will not be suspicious of the love but will be trusting, something new to us. We will be able to be trusting because we will feel a strength within ourselves that we can depend on.” Here lies the beauty of this Statement, love really can change the course of our world.
Learning to trust and depend on ourselves is a side effect of sobriety. I distinctly recall how it felt to say NO to alcohol when my thoughts were telling me otherwise in early sobriety. Every time I said NO, I was saying YES or I love you to myself. Feelings of worth and value began to appear, strengthening my resolve. Caring became all-important, both in self-care and for others. This week, notice all the ways that you invest in yourself and your recovery. Like the old hair coloring commercial reminds us…. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Dear 4C Women,
Trusting ourselves, trusting others, learning to love ourselves, and practicing self-care is the pathway to living this Statement. For me, trust was the most challenging to change. I already felt the lack of self-love but, wow, trust was a huge stumbling block. I had little trust in myself or others. I didn’t trust my instincts as they seemed to fail me each time I did. I didn’t trust others as they seemed not to have good intentions. At least that was my interpretation. I realized I was a people pleaser, hoping that if I did enough to prove I was likable, maybe even lovable, my life would be so much better, maybe even perfect! So, trusting was a lot to change and believe in. Thankfully, WFS taught me to see my lack of trust and self-love as teaching lessons. I had a choice to learn and begin to trust my instincts, to be vulnerable, or stay stuck in my lack of seeing life in a new way. Thank goodness, the WFS Statements became my lesson guide. I wasn’t afraid to reflect on my choices, my decisions. I realized that my lack of self-love was a partner to my lack of trust. Not such a great partnership! As my trust in myself and others grew, I felt love authentically. It wasn’t the fake kind so people would hopefully like me. It was real and if I was hurt emotionally by others, I learned to love myself enough to let go of those toxic relationships. This newfound trust in my instincts began to build a strong sense of worthiness.
Saying no as Karen shared is saying yes to ourselves, to honor who we are, to believe we are worthy. It opens up a whole new world of feeling and giving love with “healthy” trust. For me, this is the definition of caring is all important – giving and receiving love that changes our world in such a positive way.
How has love changed your world?
What are ways you practice self-care?
Do you trust your instincts in decision-making/choices? If yes, can you share how you were able to do that?
Do you feel worthy enough to let go of toxic relationships? If not, what is your fear of doing so?
How would you describe a healthy relationship/friendship?
Why do you think caring is all important?
Bonded in learning trust, self-love, and caring for yourself and others, Dee
We are excited to announce the start of a new meeting geared toward women who are stable in their sobriety and seeking continued connection and growth. Maintenance Mindset, a meeting for women with continued and solid sobriety, will begin August 13 and will be meeting every second and fourth Sunday of the month at 5:00pm eastern. Topics and discussions in this meeting will be geared toward those who have a period of sobriety under their belts and are focused on living in the maintenance stage.
As we move past the early days of sobriety and settle into the rhythm of our New Lives, it is easy to take our sobriety for granted and become complacent, robbing ourselves of opportunities to grow and feel the joy in life. This meeting is intended to help women in maintenance stay connected, responsible, and growing as we enjoy our hard-earned sobriety.
This meeting will be discussion-based, beginning with a question for thought or prompt, then moving into a rich discussion among participants.
Connect with this new meeting via wfsonline.org
The Healthcare Professionals Affinity group is open to any WFS participant who is a licensed (or formerly licensed) healthcare professional (HCP). This includes nurses, physicians, psychologists, social workers and any other licensed healthcare professional not otherwise specified.
Interested participants, contact marycatherine to attest that you are a licensed HCP. The meeting will be held on the first and third Sundays of the month starting August 6, at 7 pm Eastern. The meeting will be posted under the meetings tab. Participants will enter a waiting room to be verified and admitted as a licensed HCP. The waiting room will be open for 10 minutes after the start of the meeting at which time the meeting will be locked.
The Affinity Group is not meant to discuss clinical issues, in accordance with HCP ethical obligations, but rather to discuss recovery issues specific to HCPs.
Before attending this meeting, women must first send a private message to MaryCatherine through WFS Online (or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org