Monday Thoughts 8.29.22 - Women for Sobriety

“The giving of love is an education itself.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

“Stuff is irrelevant. Sooner or later we have to throw overboard our possessions, vanities, and ambitions; only the good we have done matters.”
Isabel Allende

“Take time to look…….”
Georgia O’Keefe

#10 All love given returns.
I am learning to know that I am loved.

Sobriety and Statement #10 in action enable love to flourish and grow. The entirety of the WFS New Life program is about stepping out of our comfort zone and into growth. Our first day sober is an act of love, as well as the 80^th or the 800^th. I surely didn’t know it then, but my New Life was the beginning of admitting, then embracing that I was worthy of love.
In the past, turning to things outside of myself for love was what I knew, and felt desperate for it. Drawn to excitement and danger, I lived a life without regard since it was difficult to value myself. Alcohol became the ignition for exploding into chaos and life was one drama after another. It was a lonely and painful way to live.

In our WFS Program booklet, it states, “We are women reaching out to others by way of our new self-awareness, which tells us that we are capable of both giving and receiving love.” Our WFS Online Forum is available at the touch of a button, and weekly f2f or online meetings are another way to connect. This week, invest in Statement #10 and take time to look, to examine love in your life. What are some examples of how you show love to yourself? To others? Believe and know that you are loved!

Hugzzz
Karen

Hi 4C Women,

I am so glad that Statement 10 is about love and that the past is gone forever preceding it. I needed to heal from my past in order to learn to love myself and know that I am loved. I was looking for love, as the song says, in all the wrong places. I betrayed my own worth by giving myself away. The consequences were obvious to my heart yet my mind refused to listen, to connect to my heart. As I became sober, I found my self-esteem growing. Honestly, I never expected to like myself, let alone love myself!

Last Monday, I talked about creating a mantra when the past starts to shout and one of the women in the WFS meeting said, I’m back but better. I think this is a great mantra. Think of this when you start doubting your worth when you might feel you haven’t worked hard enough to deserve love. Remember, you are back on track but better. And why better? Because you have learned more about who you are, kept moving forward when you might have faltered, and are willing to do what it takes to give and receive love authentically, trusting your intuition. In fact, I believe this Statement has a lot to do with trust – trusting ourselves to be vulnerable and trusting others to be genuine with us. It doesn’t mean we won’t be hurt at times yet we hopefully have enough self-love to let go of the toxic people in our lives and focus on nurturing those relationships that are flourishing and loving.

If I were to judge my self-worth by those who hurt me in the past, I would be stuck and miss the joy of caring relationships. I silenced my intuition when I was drinking. I was afraid to speak my needs for fear of rejection or trusting the wrong person with those spoken words. Lessons learned along the way. WFS taught me that mistakes were part of the process, not the end of the journey.

In learning trust, are you open to differentiating between your intuition guiding you or your traumas misleading you?
How do you respect your self-worth in relationships?
How do you value yourself in practicing self-care?
Have you given thought to what your needs are in relationships? Do you express these needs?
What experience do you have to honor? This is a deep question when it comes to loving and being loved. I honor my surviving toxic relationships, knowing what is unacceptable as well as acceptable, and valuing myself enough to know when it’s time to let go or nurture a relationship. This is for all relationships – friends, family, partners, co-workers, etc. In other words, I honor myself. Never thought I would think, feel, and especially say those words about myself.

Bonded in loving, being loved, and learning to trust ourselves and our intuition, Dee