Upon finding Women for Sobriety, for the first time in an exceptionally long time, I felt love without strings attached. So often in my past, love had come with a receipt. It felt as if love was something to be earned, yet my drinking and behavior eliminated that worth. In WFS, I found women who were just like me, desiring love and a New Life.
It states in the W’S Reflections for Growth spiral booklet “Just because someone else cannot love me, or even accept me, does not mean that I am without value.” The entirety of the W’S New Life Program is a demonstration of this fact. I can still recall the enthusiasm of the first woman who reached out to me on the W’S Online Forum. She sent a private message and then we spoke on the phone. I had never heard of the phrase ‘4C woman’ before; Capable, Competent, Caring and Compassionate. When she said that I was 4C, my eyes welled up. Hearing those words, her love danced through and uplifted my being.
Understanding that “love is multi-faceted” as our WFS Program booklet states, taking note of love can create a solid foundation for when love feels diminished. This sturdy base can weather us through the storms of life and seal sobriety and recovery. Love is a life-sustaining gift to be given as well as received.
How will you acknowledge, receive and share love in your New Life today?
Hi 4C Women,
This has become one of my favorite statements with the change in the action part – I am learning to know that I am loved. For so many years, it was a huge challenge to believe and accept that others loved me for who I was. Saturday was my 75th birthday and the love given through very caring, compassionate words, cards, text messages and calls brought home to my heart the acceptance that I am loved. What an overwhelming honor to receive the most priceless gift of all – love! Add to that, I adopted a 3- year old lab mix dog, Molly, 3 months ago and she has brought even more love into my life. It’s been over 25 years since I had a pet and this was such a wonderful reminder of how unconditional a pet’s love is.
Like Karen, I thought love had to be earned and not in the best way. Past life lessons had to be unlearned and believing I was lovable and worthwhile without giving away my value, needed to be the new lesson. I always viewed love as only romantic love. WFS has taught me that love shows up in many diverse ways. I am truly grateful for that lesson as my longtime previous belief kept me in the realm of feeling unworthy, unlovable or not good enough just because I didn’t have romantic love in my life. I measured my whole self-worth on that premise. Romantic love is beautiful yet so is the love of friends, family, animals, nature – whichever love feeds your soul. I read a book several years ago by Dr. Gerald Jampolsky updated in 2004, Love is Letting Go of Fear. I realized my fear was rejection. I was living my present based on the past and building a wall so high that giving or receiving love was practically impossible. Realizing the diversity from which love is given and received, it opened the floodgates of love once I began practicing Statement #10 and working really hard on letting go of my fear of rejection. I use to wonder why anyone would like me, yet alone love me. That’s when I also understood that I didn’t love myself and, again, was basing all of my fears on my own perception of being unlovable. One of the chapters in his book is titled, “I am determined to see things differently.” For me, that is Statement #10 in a nutshell. I am enough, I am worthy, I am not forced to live in my past fear of rejection, I see love in all its forms through different lenses and I am learning to know that I am loved!
Bonded in giving and receiving love, Dee