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“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.” ~~Karen Salmansohn
“Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.” ~~Drew Barrymore
“Nothing is more beautiful that the smile that has struggled through the tears.” ~~Demi Lovato
Problems bother me only to the degree I permit.
I now better understand my problems. I do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
One of the things that I love about Statement #4 is that it doesn’t state that every problem needs to be figured out all at once. Oftentimes, there can be a lack of information or even timing, so making informed decisions is not available right away.
Being able to move through problems instills strength, resiliency and wisdom. It is such an amazing feeling to reach the other side of a challenge or problem; the satisfaction runs deep and fuels further strength and abilities.
Curiously, I have discovered, that each problem has a solution, otherwise it would not be a problem. Sometimes as mentioned, more time or information is needed, but there can be a solution and it is up to each of us 4C women to discover what that solution is. Happily, we do not have to do it alone. We can reach out for support anytime. What strategies do you use to solve problems? What bites of wisdom have you gleaned from solving a past problem?
Hi 4C Women,
There are problems and there are serious concerns. I have always appreciated Statement #4 because it helped me eliminate the so called “problems” that weren’t really problems but a distraction from focusing on concerns that needed attention. I also learned that, as Karen says, even a concern may require more information, timing and positive input from caring supporters. Sometimes just taking time away or saying out loud what we are concerned about can be freeing. In the past, my worrying about everything drained my energy for real problem-solving. I withdrew from problem-solving because that meant I had to eventually make a decision and I wasn’t confident enough to trust that process. WFS taught me that skill and most importantly, that even when the decision wasn’t the right choice, that I could learn from it – it wasn’t the end of the world. A WFS member once said, it’s not the end of the world until it’s the end of the world! I think of that so often when I am faced with a life-changing decision.
Margaret Pruitt, former WFS Board member, wrote a booklet for WFS many years ago on coping with stress. One of her suggestions was “Give yourself the freedom to change your mind. Re-assessing is a mark of flexibility, not instability.” Another was “Break the habit of guilt and worry. Guilt is self-punishment for the inability to change the past; worry is self-punishment for the inability to change the future. Both waste needless energy and cause needles stress. Replace guilt and worry with concern. Guilt and worry are immobilizing; genuine concern leads to action. Don’t forget, everyone makes mistakes – they are one of our best methods for learning.” Those words stuck with me and I am grateful for her words of wisdom that changed the way I chose to practice Statement #4.
Bonded together in learning problem-solving and decision-making skills,
a 4C Woman