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Monday Thoughts 5/18/2020

“You are never alone.  You are eternally connected to everyone.”  ~~Amit Ray

“Growth is uncomfortable because you’ve never been here before.  You’ve never seen this version of you.  So give yourself a little grace and breathe through it.”  ~~Kristin Lohr

“No man was ever wise by chance.”  ~~Seneca

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#8 The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

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Growth?  What growth?  Before my New Life, growth was for other people; those people who wrote self-help books and did motivational speaking. Unaware that I was living in a pattern of immobility, life was something to be reacted to.  I had little to no understanding of cause and effect and felt life was basically unfair but Statement #8 and the WFS New Life Program helped me update that thought process.

Practicing Statement #8 became incredibly freeing; soon I felt free from self-limiting beliefs and expectations.  One of the first beliefs to fall from the wayside was the belief that I was stuck where I was.  In our WFS Reflections for Growth booklet it states (on Nov 1), “From sunrise to sunset, the day experiences many changes.  In fact, the changes are constant, although most of us are not continually aware of them—only the drastic difference between dawn, midday, twilight and night.  This is the way it is with each of us.  We are in constant change but we don’t notice it until after the fact.  Today I will be aware of the changes in myself.”  This is such a beautiful example to embrace and become aware of change.

Here is a helpful tool to practice Statement #8 from Lara Fielding, author of Mastering Adulthood: Go Beyond Adulting to Become an Emotional Grown-Up:

When we are distressed by a situation in our lives, we can do a quick writing exercise in which we detail:

·         What happened, what we saw, heard etc.

·         The thoughts that this provoked in us, or how we interpret the event

·         The emotions we immediately felt

·         The bodily sensations we immediately felt

·         What action we took in response

How will you practice Statement #8 this week?  How is your life different today in sobriety?

Hugzzz

Karen

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Hi 4C Women,

If there ever was a time for me to consider the above questions, it would certainly be now.  I thought it was challenging to handle life’s issues before current circumstances but now I find myself with a lot of time for self-reflection and feeling like a lost child sometimes.  Perhaps even a rebellious teenager who wants everything to be corrected to my liking and immediately no less!  Thank goodness I have the WFS Statements to pull me back to emotional maturity (I’m trying) and putting my priorities in order as best I can.  This is what I’ve learned so far – I really like helping and supporting others on this journey, it is my reward and as I recently heard, my sobriety insurance.  It centers me, makes me grateful for the opportunity and to feel others value my input.  I’ve also learned that I love ice cream way too much and I am not happy with my talking scale as she is exaggerating my weight gain during this isolation period.  It seems that priorities were easier to do when I was busy outside my home, but it also helped me realize that many of those priorities were tasks and not much to do with emotional and spiritual growth.  So, the questions Karen posed are quite relevant.  How much time do I give to spiritual growth now that I have more time?  What is a true priority that promotes my emotional growth?

I have previously shared the monthly Action for Happiness calendar as it provides a positive action for each day of the month.  Last week they launched 10 Days of Happiness, a free online coaching program which guides individuals through daily actions for happier living, all based on the latest research.  I joined and am so grateful that I did.  Each day there are 3 different actions to take to promote happiness and it has made me accountable to follow through.  The one that helped most in changing my attitude was reaching out to treat people with a little extra kindness, including myself; Asking a loved one how they’re feeling and really listen to them; Offering to help someone who might be lonely or in need of support.  I reached out to my neighbor, a women from years ago who I met through WFS and their joyful response truly inspired me.  It reminded me of what I treasure and that is the relationships I have developed over the years.  A plus to all of this is that my son called me 3 times in one month!  That’s a record so maybe he is thinking about listening, really listening, to his mom!

Bonded in developing emotional and spiritual growth, Dee


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Monday Thoughts 2/17/2018

“I’m still learning.”  ~~Michelangelo

“We all have ‘issues’ because we all have a story.  And no matter how much work you have done on yourself, we all snap back sometimes.  So be easy on you.  Growth is a dance.  Not a light switch.”  ~~John Kim

“Learning is not attained by chance; it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.”  ~~Abigail Adams.
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#8 The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
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Many of us recognize the inspirational works of art by Michelangelo, whether it be his smooth sculptures or magnificent ceilings.  Yet, it was the depth of his willingness to continue to grow and learn that is most often overlooked. The result of this openness to growth made him an unintended master. Being able to adapt, to change, to grow and learn is what Statement #8 is built from.

Growth can be as simple as extracting something valuable from a situation, feeling or moment. For example, my friend Jackie recently shared that she adores the rain and it has been raining quite a bit lately. Growing up, in the back yards of her neighborhood sat an old, rusty bread truck with its doors wide open, dusty windows and tattered seats with grass growing beyond the worn-out tires.  During the summer it was simply too hot to play in, but……when it rained…it was the perfect spot to stay dry, safe and cozy.  Jackie spent hours listening to the rain plop onto the withered metal as the stillness surrounded and comforted her. It filled her senses in every way. Today, rain is a gentle reminder to see and feel the value in the moment and Jackie can be transported back to that secluded place whenever the sky unleashes the next shower.

Statement #8 encourages finding value and embracing growth in your New Life.  What is your ‘bread truck’ moment that you can bring forward and use to enhance your life?  What did that moment feel like? Describe it fully. What has it taught you?  How is this different today in sobriety and recovery?  Are you open and willing to continue learning like Michelangelo? If not, what is holding you back?

Hugzzz and dancing in the rain,

Karen
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Hi 4C Women,

This reminds me of a quote by Roger Miller:
Some people walk in the rain.  Others just get wet.

To me, this symbolizes listening to our spirit, living in the moment.  Nancy Cross once shared a post that spoke so much to me about doing just that.  I’d like to share it as I am feeling a great deal of physical pain and discomfort and am struggling with pulling back.  It feels unnatural and yet reading this message, I realize I need to listen to my body and my spirit in order to heal.

Taken from: Faith in The Valley – Iyanla Vanzant
“When you get the urge to stay home, be alone, pull back, or shut down, it is probably your spirit urging you to take a rest. Do not ignore it! Honor yourself by taking some time out. Take a day away. There may be something very important going on within you that you need to know about. You must get quiet in order to hear it. The job will be there, and people will simply have to understand; what can be done today can also be done tomorrow. All duties and responsibilities can wait. Your spirit cannot!
Rest, Stillness, Solitude, Introspection, Reflection, are spiritual vibrations. They keep us from breaking down, falling apart, and being forced into a living deficiency.”

Reward yourself with a spiritual health day once in a while!  How do you envision your personal spiritual health day?
Bonded in listening to our spirit to promote spiritual growth, Dee

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Monday Thoughts 8/20/2018

flowers-in-field

Monday Thoughts

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells constellations.” ~~Anaïs Nin

“For behind all seen things lies something vaster; everything is but a path, a portal, or window opening on something more than itself.” ~~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~~Anaïs Nin


Statement #8:
The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.


Early sobriety can feel like a past feeling from youth of wanting to be older, wiser, more adult or grown up. Adulthood seemed so fancy, with immense schedules and deep conversations through childhood eyes; thoughts of the grass is always greener…. except it isn’t greener, it’s just different. With WFS, sobriety, and the practice of Statement #8, the grass can be greener with growth.

Unknowingly, alcohol prevented growth. Emotionally stuck, life was experienced through a filtered lens. Unable to see or feel clearly, life felt overwhelming and filled with fear and pain. Feelings of dread and of “what’s the point” were common emotions. WFS provides the tools to clear that foggy lens and bring about balance and growth. Connecting with sober women near and far, whether on the WFS Online Forum or in a face to face group, the warmth from feeling a part of a courageous community continues to inspire growth and development.

Statement #8 with its simplicity, encourages new avenues to be explored. Instead of rigid rules or paths to be taken, growth can occur by embracing priorities. The practice and understanding of this Statement can ease fears of purpose, opening a portal for mindfulness and spirituality to flourish.

How do you incorporate Statement #8 into your daily life?
Hugzzz
Karen


Hi 4C Women,

Setting priorities has a lot to do with core values as defined by Cookie Tuminello.

“Core values are the foundation that creates more of what you do want and less of what you don’t want in your life. They must be present in your daily actions if you want to be truly at peace with yourself. Core values are who you are right now, not who you think you should be, can be or might be. They define who you are on the “inside” – your core. These values help you define what matters most to you in your life and they are the basis for making better choices for taking better care of yourself.”

I think that as we all work towards emotional and spiritual growth, start achieving it, our core values become clear to us and we can continue to make decisions that authentically reflect our core values/priorities.

I was watching an episode of Iyanla, Fix My Life on OWN (Oprah Network). It was about a mother-daughter relationship in need of major healing. When Iyanla said that unhealed people create unhealed situations, I thought of how I struggles with putting my priorities in a proper order when I so wounded. Drinking certaining didn’t help the healing process. It numbed, stopped and harmed any necessary healing I needed in order to grow my emotional and spiritual life. Her question was to figure out what you need help with, because if you don’t ask for what you need, the need gets bigger.

I realize I drank because I had unmet needs that I had no idea of how to meet or could even identify them at that time. Over the years, I have also learned that as I identify my needs and meet them, other needs start to appear. WFS has taught me that there is always room for emotional and spiritual growth to take place as life presents new challenges. Knowing that lessens my fear and cuts short the negative self-talk that I “should” be able to handle any situation after all this time.

In order to determine if you are using your valuable time and energy that includes your core values, make a list of what matters most to you. Remember, be completely honest with what you value and not what you believe you “should” value. As you reflect on this list, consider if you are prioritizing your life incorporating these values by the choices and decisions you are making. Most importantly, this list is to create awareness, not guilt. Make changes, if necessary, in how you spend your time and energy once you know what your core values are.

Bonded in discovering and living our core values,
4C WFS Member