Monday Thoughts 10/4/2021 - Women for Sobriety

“You are not your feelings. You just experience them. Anger, sadness, hate, depression, fear. This is the rain you walk in. But you don’t become the rain. You know the rain will pass. You walk on. And you remember the soft glow of the sun that will come again.” ~~Matt Haig

“I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.” ~~Iyanla Vanzant

“Feelings or emotions are the universal language and are to be honored. They are the authentic expression of who you are at your deepest place.” ~~Judith Wright

#2 Negative thoughts destroy only myself.

My first conscious sober act is to reduce negativity in my life.

A rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions has washed through me the last few weeks; we said goodbye to our cuddly, chocolate chihuahua, Tigger. Yet it is because of sobriety and recovery, and practicing the WFS Statements that I am able to accept, understand and process what I am feeling, no matter how uncomfortable or scary the emotion.

Before my New Life, grief frightened me. Somehow, I thought if grief got close to me it would swallow me up. I worked hard at keeping it at bay or not feeling it, whether it be shoving it down deep inside or trying to smother it with alcohol. Of course, grief worked its way to the surface no matter how much I drank or tried to hide it. The WFS New Life Program and especially Statement #2 create a portal for processing difficult thoughts and emotions.

My relationship with Tigger felt different because I respond differently. Living in sobriety when he arrived in our home felt special. This dog would know the real me. I felt grateful and cherished this four legger with new perspective, so when he was diagnosed with cancer late last year, we made the best of it. Saying goodbye is never easy but living the Statements has helped me walk into these difficult emotions and begin to move through them. Giving myself permission to experience the depth of my emotions by sharing feelings, journaling and listening to guided grief meditation is a form of self-care and an empowering way to reduce negativity. The emotional pain may still be present, but today I stand in sobriety and strength.

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

Trust = ourselves, our intuition, our feelings that signal when we need healing, support and self-care. I have learned a lot about myself through Statement #2. I realized that my thoughts were constantly negative which projected into my conversations and self-talk. I really wasn’t aware of it until I started practicing this Statement. It took a lot of pausing before spewing my negativity. I eventually created a balance because I didn’t want to deny my feelings of frustration, anger, disappointment, etc. That denial is how I justified my drinking rather than learning how to express myself in a calm, clear manner. If I experienced typical feelings of being unheard/ignored, rather than become completely negative or drinking the thoughts away, I worked on a plan for change. My words became my empowerment. I had a choice to express myself confidently, not in anger, but in my truth. It took a while to feel comfortable doing that and every now and then, it can still be quite challenging.

The important lesson is that I am willing to continue learning and practicing. Negative thoughts, especially about who I am as a person, can cause such pain and I knew I had to stop believing old messages that no longer served me. The moment my self-talk becomes self-demeaning, I stop and ask myself, is this who I am right now, this moment, or is it a false description from someone else in my long ago past? It’s a lot to overcome yet I rather work on that then be stuck with unproductive messages that stop my positive, self-affirming progress in its path. Nancy Cross once sent a message that said, “Don’t make your thoughts your prison.” Wow! I had the keys to unlock the prison I was holding onto with my negative thoughts. I still use that phrase when I catch myself in that once in a while moment.

In the end, it’s about setting boundaries with your thoughts and your relationships. Whether it’s yourself repeating negative definitions of who you are (false definitions) or relationships that keep you stuck in negative thinking by putting you down, keeping the past in the present, remember you have the keys to unlock those thoughts, the tools and courage to make the necessary boundary changes.

Something to think about. Changing your life starts with changing your mind. Who you think you are is who you will become. True transformation begins when you understand that you alone are in charge of your reactions-even in the most difficult circumstances (Author Judy Lief)

1. Your own thoughts can trap and undermine your potential for growth. What unhealthy thought patterns would you like to examine and unravel?

2. When you focus your thoughts, they have more power. What one thought would you like to hold in your mind this month?

Bonded in courage, truth, growth, boundary setting and the keys to unlock it all, Dee

Conference Planning Watch Party!

Grab your popcorn & join us for a night of fun as we gear up for the 2022 Conferences. Do you remember how magical Conference 2021 was? Wouldn’t you like to be part of the behind the scenes effort? Join us to learn all about Conferences 2022 & get involved!!

Saturday, October 9, 7pm EDT

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89424437953?pwd=N3Y4OHZpblp1OFYzNGFOc25kT0NvQT09

Meeting ID: 894 2443 7953

Passcode: 529849