“A part of me wants to keep my eyes closed and pull the covers over my head, block out the light trying to be turned on in my room…. a part of me is so afraid to open my eyes because the very nature of waking up is to be aware, to be accountable, to be responsible for the healing of my life.” ~~Sarah Blondin
“Invest time and energy in your well-being. Create an atmosphere of emotional safety for yourself.” ~~Amy Leigh Mercree
“Are you prepared to put in the time and energy to create change in your life? Are you prepared to make and keep that commitment? If not you, then who? Invest in yourself.” ~~Akiroq Brost
#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my well-being.
I accept the responsibility.
It felt easier to hide under the covers of alcohol instead of moving through difficult or painful emotions, much like a child hiding from real or imagined fears. Yet unknowingly, I was also hiding from living and the beauty of life. Sobriety and Statement #1 in action lay a reliable foundation for recovery while adding connection builds security and cements well-being.
The WFS New Life Program aids women in reclaiming and redesigning their New Life and Statement #1 leads the way. It states in our WFS Program booklet, “New Life begins with recognizing that we have a life-threatening problem and accepting the responsibility to be in charge of our own lives. By acknowledging our reliance on alcohol or drugs, we can begin to explore why we sought to escape.”
Throwback the covers and embrace each new day. It is yours to create and experience. Of course, it is unrealistic to expect sunshine and rainbows every day, so learning new coping skills and techniques help us move through challenges and uncertainty. If you are new to sobriety, develop a plan of action to insure your sobriety and new goals. Enlist the help of other 4C women by becoming engaged in the WFS Online community or if there is a face-to-face meeting near you, connect in person. What will you create this week?
Hi 4C Women,
The last quote from Akiroq Brost is the first question I asked myself when I made the decision to quit drinking. Was I really ready to make such a drastic, strong and committed change in my life? And of course, the follow up question – if not you, then who? The answer is all there in Statement #1. As I built my tool box of coping skills, I realized that while I recognized there were people and situations that triggered me, I also needed to dig deeper and uncover the feelings that created these intense reactions/responses. I want to share a list from the Gottman Institute that helped me identify those feelings.
What triggered me?
- I felt excluded
- I felt powerless
- I felt unheard
- I felt scolded
- I felt judged
- I felt blamed
- I felt disrespected
- I felt a lack of affection
- I felt uncared for
- I felt lonely
- I felt ignored
- I felt like I couldn’t be honest
- I felt like the bad guy
- I felt forgotten
- I felt unsafe
- I felt unloved
- I felt disconnected
- I felt frustrated
- I felt a lack of passion
- I felt trapped
- I felt like that was unfair
- I felt like I couldn’t speak up
- I felt manipulated
- I felt controlled
- I felt a lack of compassion
- I felt a lack of caring
- I felt invisible
What would you add to this list?
Identifying feelings is the beginning. How to create changes in reacting and responding to these feelings is a crucial component of being in charge of your life. This is not about ignoring feelings. That’s what got me into trouble to begin with. It’s understanding perhaps where or why these feelings are so intense that we would harm ourselves by making an unhealthy choice. Instead, think about some of these triggers. How can you take charge if perhaps you didn’t feel you could speak up, felt trapped, couldn’t be honest – anything on this list that speaks to you?
Working through these triggers helped me figure out what I needed to do to obtain and maintain my sobriety. Let’s face it, these feelings will arise throughout our lives. It’s our response/reaction that will protect our wellbeing and our recovery. Feelings are just that – feelings. Acknowledging and having awareness with a plan in mind will empower you and, in the end, be a healing process as you take responsibility and stand strong.
Bonded in empowerment, growth, acceptance that we are in charge of our lives, Dee
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