โIf you keep projecting past experiences and preconceived ideas onto the present moment, you will never get to experience anything new.โ -April Green
โItโs OK if you donโt know how to move forward yet. Trust that the road will become clearer as you take your steps toward what you desire. What can you do next with your current circumstances? Do that and your circumstances will change.โ -Emily Maroutian
โIn our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable.ย In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change lies our happiness and freedom.โย -Buddha
#9 The past is gone forever.
No longer am I victimized by the past.
I am a new woman.
Karen’s Thoughts
Change can feel defeating, it can even feel downright debilitating yet there is an opening that comes with change. My first day of sobriety contained feelings of exhilaration and uncertainty but it was also deafening. My brain was shouting, loudly. It was setting off every available alarm while making my central and peripheral nervous systems go absolutely haywire. Everything felt on edge, yet within my grasp was the key. The WFS Statements are the keychain and the Statement #9 key opens a portal to choice.
Letting go of what felt comforting and familiar felt counterintuitive, yet I needed change. One of my favorite acronyms is CHANGE: Choose Having A New Growth Experience. Using Statement #9, I choose change every day. Initially, it can feel easier to embrace the choosing of something instead of letting go. I choose sobriety and recovery every day. Once realization and clarity are complete then I can settle into acceptance. The length and process are different for everyone but the support from 4C women makes it a less scary and lonely place.
Moving into acceptance sets presence in motion. There is such a joy in being present with another. What does acceptance look like? Here are insights from Emily Sanders, LMFT
โAcceptance means:
- Acknowledging what exists.
- No longer trying to control the person or situation.
- Not spending energy fantasizing about what could have/should have been.
- No longer waiting for different outcomes.
- Releasing the goal of changing a person or situation.
- Working hard with what you have,ย notย what you wish you had.
- Seeing things for what they actually are,ย notย what you wish they were.โ
Hugzzz
Karen
Dee’s Thoughts
Dear 4C Women,
Statement #9 has always been my favorite. It helped me when I was going through my separation and divorce as I began working on creating my New Life. I started my recovery journey in 1988 and being sober was the key to becoming an empowered, confident woman. I needed to put my needs first in order to stop focusing on the choices I had made which left me feeling guilty and shamed. Those definitely werenโt the feelings I wanted to hold onto. I no longer wanted to be the victim of a past I could not change. While I went through the process of changing how I reflected on my past, I also realized that I was mourning the loss of what could have been, what I had hoped for. Because of Statement #9, I focused on learning from the past rather than beating myself up about it and forgiving myself for the choices I had made in the past. I am learning to do that again as I grieve the loss of my daughter. There are so many what ifs swirling around in my head. I know this is a normal process and that while I realize I will never โhealโ from losing my daughter, I am working on learning how to cope, forgive and remain sober. The insights from Emily Sanders, LMFT, and Karenโs acronym โCHANGE: Choose Having A New Growth Experienceโ are so helpful in that process.
As you learn to move forward on this incredible journey of change and growth, please know you are worth the work needed to do so. Holding onto the past keeps you from living in the present. Right now, โReflect and Learnโ is my mantra. Think about what is holding you back and ways to create the New Life you so deserve.
Forgiving, changing and growing into your New Life is worth every moment, Dee
Keep an eye on your email: 13 Days of Giving starts this week! More information is coming soon, including your first gift. We’re hoping to make this the happiest gifting season ever.
