โBe gentle on yourself when emotional anniversaries hit. Have a self-care plan. Not a bubble bath โ steps you can take to lessen your distress and stay balanced. Easy meals. Reaching out to friends. Honoring the feelings in ways that feel meaningful. Some days, thatโs enough. Thatโs plenty.โ
Nanea Hoffman
โYesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.โ
Beatles
โYou can rise up from anything. You can completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent. Youโre not stuck. You have choices. You can think new thoughts. You can learn something new. You can create new habits. All that matters is that you decide today, and never look back.โ
Idil Ahmed
#9 The past is gone forever.
No longer am I victimized by the past.
I am a new woman.
Statement #9, a part of WFS Level Two Recovery, encourages closing the door to yesterday while focusing on the present. Initially, this Statement hit hard, opening my eyes to the burden of victimhood that I wore while under the influence. Blame, comparison, and finger-pointing had been go-to expressions that further spiraled my alcohol use disorder.
Feeling like Statement #9 permitted me to let go, I began to look at the past with a sense of unbiased clarity. Reframing past situations with a broad stroke led to understanding and later, compassion. Fear was no longer a captive ruler and I found it easier to engage with the present. Reading the WFS Online forum of how other 4C women rose above their past challenges and difficulties inspired me to dive deeper which in turn fueled growth and well-being. Self-forgiveness became not just possible, but doable. It felt surprisingly refreshing.
One of the greatest gifts of practicing Statement #9 is the ability to be present today. Feelings of regret rarely bubble up or take hold thanks to sobriety and recovery. In our WFS Program booklet, it beautifully states โOur interest in the past is to use it as a guide for how we want to be in the moment and to prepare for the future.โ What experience from your past guides your thoughts and actions today? Is there something that needs your attention?
Hugzzz
Karen
Dear 4C Women,
My first thought when I read this Statement was this is great! The past no longer exists or has any power over me. It is gone and I will no longer be victimized by it. I didnโt realize that healing from the past by learning from it was the hard work ahead. It reminded me that I once thought my life would be perfect when I stopped drinking. I was learning a lot of lessons through the WFS program. No longer escaping my feelings, pretending I was just fine. While it was hard work, it was so worth the reward โ a New Life, a new me that I learned to love, forgive, and find my voice. When the past would visit me, I could reflect on why, at that moment, the regrets, guilt, and what-ifs, coming into the present. Even now I have those moments and reflect and see if itโs a familiar feeling from the past that triggered those feelings. Another thing is that I am no longer afraid of the past so I let the past temporarily visit. I always believe there is a lesson to be learned for why I am being triggered. This is where I learned about releasing and healing from the past.
How have you learned to live with who you โwereโ?
How do you celebrate who you are today and who you are becoming?
Do you honestly believe itโs possible to โRelease the past, plan for tomorrow, live for todayโ?
How often do you use the past to help you understand the present?
What has helped you most in โhealingโ from the past?
What can you learn from past experiences that will help in the future?
(some of these questions were from Nancy Cross, our original 4CWoman)
Bonded in healing and releasing the past, Dee
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