Monday Thoughts 3.11.24

“She remembered who she was and the game changed.”
Lalah Delia

“It’s impossible to do anything effectively when you’re in a panicked or fearful state. Step back. Breathe. Assess. Put things in perspective. Release the urgent need to figure it all out right now. Then act, from a place of calm, knowing you can figure this out if you take it all one slow step at a time.”
Lori Deschene

“You have everything you need inside of you.”
proverb

#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.
This is what I am, and I shall know it always.

It happened subtly and almost without notice. The self-assurance that I once held had faded away into rivers of doubt and uncertainty. Alcohol fueled this suspicion and set me into a labyrinth of indecision. Fear ruled above all and my self-worth plummeted. Finding WFS and embracing sobriety allowed me to change direction while practicing Statement #12 enables awareness and balance.

Many rewarding moments of my New Life happened during that first year sober. It felt exhilarating to cross off another day of sobriety on the calendar. Unbeknownst to me, I was actually teaching myself about my own competency in real-time. My self-worth grew in proportion to every NO said to alcohol and YES to the authentic me.

In our WFS Program booklet, it asks, “Can you identify your strengths? Are you aware of moments throughout your life when you were competent?” Answering these questions each time we practice Statement #12 requires honest self-reflection and can help us manage when self-doubt or self-denial reappears. Here are four additional ways to address doubt:

1.   Your thoughts are just thoughts, not absolute truths or lies. Instead of attaching to thoughts of self-doubt or the “I cant’s,” let them roll on by like a passing cloud. If it doesn’t serve you in an empowering manner, let it go.
2.   Only use your own yardstick. Comparing ourselves to another is not helpful and puts us at a disadvantage. It shifts the abilities to someone else and elevates them to oftentimes unrealistic measures. Shift focus inwards and compare you to you. With introspection, you now have confirmation of your growing abilities.
3.   Affirm your achievements, big and small, past and present. Even better, keep a running list or notebook that you can refer to when overwhelming emotions appear.
4.   Make gratitude a part of each day. Ever heard of same car syndrome? You learn about a new model of car and then start seeing it everywhere? Our brains are subconsciously looking for that model and we start to notice it more. The same thing goes with gratitude. Write down in a journal or notebook one thing that you are grateful for each day. Quickly our subconscious mind begins to find more things to feel grateful for. Begin or close your day with growing gratitude.

Hugzzz
Karen

Dear 4C Women,

There is so much Karen shared that speaks volumes about being a 4C woman. Last Saturday, I was part of a Zoom presentation celebrating Jean Kirkpatrick’s birthday. As I did some research and reflected on how I learned about WFS, when I met Jean and who she was as a trailblazer on women’s needs in recovery during the throes of the Women’s Movement, I could envision her creating this empowering Statement at just the right time in history. WFS was her life’s work. It is her own recovery journey that led her to create WFS. She wanted women to recognize their accomplishments as they practiced the 13 Statements of Acceptance for a New Life. She encouraged women to be their own cheerleaders.  As we know, recovery is hard work and there are so many changes along the way. Jean wanted women to know that this was not a competition and that comparing one’s journey to another could be detrimental to a woman’s personal recovery. It was Jean’s desire for women to become empowered. This is why she had each woman introduce herself as a competent woman and not have storytelling of what happened in the past but to focus on moving forward, to uncover and discover our value, our worth. It was so refreshing to know that judgment and shaming would never be a part of WFS, and that our substance use was what we used to cope, not our identity. This does not mean we cannot ask for input if there is a concern. What it means is that in asking, women will respond with what helped them in a similar situation. The empowerment is that you get to make the decision and learn from it. You are the student and then become the teacher in a positive direction. This is why I appreciate Jean’s words, “I have much to give life.” I didn’t feel that way until I became sober. What did I have to give? What could I teach that would make a difference in another person’s life? In the past, if I made a mistake in my decision-making, I would punish myself needlessly and endlessly. Now I tell myself that I was pretty darn brave to even make a decision and follow through with it and learn from it even and especially when it was a mistake. This is when I can become a teacher for someone else, including myself.

As you continue to work on positive change, consider sharing your accomplishments, the lessons you have learned, the times you were brave, and what being a competent woman means to you.

Bonded in knowing, and believing we are competent women who have much to give life, Dee 

We are excited! Soon we can share over 70 items in the upcoming Creative Crew Spring Sale. The Spring Sale will showcase the wide, diverse talents of the Creative Crew. From painting to writing, from sewing to crochet and from graphic art to creative gift baskets. So much talent to be proud of in our group!

On March 18, you will be able to take a look at the items for sale and plan your bids or set your alarm clock for the “Buy It Now” items that start selling at 11 am E.T. on April 5. While you wait, you can get ready by registering with your credit card and follow that by confirming your email address with the message you will receive. Then you are set to shop!