Monday Thoughts 12.11.23

“Today I want you to think about all that you are instead of what you are not.”

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“Let them be wrong about you. There’s nothing to prove.”

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“You ARE good enough. (Actually, you’re probably overqualified. But let’s start the week off humble.)” 

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#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.

This is what I am, and I shall know it always.

As a part of Level Three recovery, Statement #12 in action offers an opportunity to start right where we are. There is no need to pretend to be something else, justify ourselves, or be afraid to be authentic. Our WFS Program booklet states, “By releasing the baggage of self-denial about ourselves and our abilities, we can free ourselves from feelings of guilt, despair, and unworthiness. We are competent women, capable of great accomplishment when we nurture a belief in ourselves.” Let’s begin our week cultivating that belief.

Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., before cementing her own recovery journey, was once the recipient of a competitive fellowship program. Surprised at being picked to receive this honor, Jean was the first woman at her university to be chosen though felt she “couldn’t do what was expected” of her. Even though the committee took over a year to determine who would receive this important fellowship, our founder felt incapable. While feelings of inadequacy are universal, Jean took charge of her life and wrote the WFS Program. Quite capable indeed!

Oftentimes the inability to believe in ourselves can come from outside of ourselves, such as from family dynamics or from the society in which we live. Substance Use Disorder then worsens our self-belief, making it even more difficult to realize and embrace ourselves. Here are 4 ways to take action towards believing in yourself by Life coach Elizabeth Perry:

1.   Create healthy routines: Sobriety is the starting point, seek balance in eating, sleeping, exercise, work, and rest. Begin each day with the WFS Statements.

2.   Surround yourself with good people: Who you spend time with affects your mindset and motivation. Stay connected through the WFS Online Forum or face-to-face meetings. 4C women are the best to have in your inner circle!

3.   Feed your mind: Indulge in words of encouragement, positivity, and uplifting energy. Whether you listen, scroll, watch, or write, every day make it a point to influence your mind with balance and beauty.

4.   Don’t let your fear stop you: Self-doubt is NORMAL. Learn from mistakes, they are simply another layer to learning. Set manageable goals. Acknowledge your victories.

You are a 4C woman!

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

It took a while to believe I was competent yet slowly as I made decisions on my own, I felt both competent and confident! I often think of my mom who didn’t know anything about finances and had to take on that responsibility after my dad passed away. She never wrote a check and never learned to drive. She became a wonderful example late in life of both the willingness and necessity of becoming a woman in charge of her life. When I quit drinking, I began to understand and appreciate that it’s never too late to change, take on what may seem like overwhelming challenges, and create a New Life. Number 4 in this message spoke to me, I was full of fear after I divorced from a 27-year marriage. I was scared of how I would manage so much responsibility.  I was grateful that I was sober yet this was a monumental life change. The more decisions I made, the more competent I felt. I did make mistakes along the way but when I think of selling my house on my own, the 1,000-mile move I made, quitting my job that I loved, and learning to be financially responsible, I would have never, ever thought I would be capable of doing all of that on my own.  I am proud and grateful for WFS leading the way. 

I believe the biggest change has been trusting myself to make decisions as best I can and forgiving myself for the mistakes I’ve made. No more berating myself. 

I came across this Note to Self that I hope will be helpful if you are struggling with feeling competent:

You are doing the best you can

It’s okay to ask for help

You are worthy and enough

It is okay to be not okay

Your boundaries are important

You are capable of amazing things

Your feelings are valid

It is okay if you are a work in progress

It is okay to allow yourself to heal

I relate to these feelings and have experienced all of them at various times in my life. Which ones are speaking to you right now, this day? As you say them out loud, do you feel your competency grows with the challenges you are facing? Do you feel that you have much to give to life? I am learning at this time that it is okay for me to not be okay as I continue in my grieving. I cry when I feel I need to express my sadness, I laugh when I feel authentic joy and I know it is perfectly fine to allow as much time as I need to heal. 

Bonded in growing in your competency knowing you are doing the best you can, Dee

Volunteers are an integral component of the New Life Program and Women for Sobriety. The website, the materials, the campaigns, the outreach, and the development – everything we see is made possible by women who donate their talents, experience, and time. Because of our volunteers, we are expanding this wonderful community and reaching out to women in recovery all over the world!

Today we honor your dedication and thank you for making WFS visible and accessible to all. The journey to recovery is hard; because of you, the path is easier for us all to follow. Sheroes Amongst Us!

Special recognition to:

• Advancement Team: These volunteers organize events and campaigns to raise money that keep WFS supporting women’s sobriety and recovery, keeping this place afloat! They also educate professionals, therapists, recovery centers, and others in our communities about what WFS is, and all that it can do for the women in their area seeking recovery. Thank you!

• Conference Team: Women on this team organize our valuable in-person and virtual WFS conferences that empower women to continue to learn about themselves and their recovery. They offer all attendees valuable, current content on sobriety, and facilitate supportive connections with sober sisters. Thank you!

• Facilitator Team: Our CFs and OMAs are the pulse of this organization! They lead our meetings, train our new CFs and OMAs, support women in their recovery, and give their time and love to make WFS what it is. Thank you!

• Materials Team: This group writes, reviews, edits, proofreads, and assists in the design of all WFS materials, campaigns, outreach products, and online content. Thank you!

• Volunteer Empowerment Team: Thank you for connecting WFS participants with enriching options for them to share their unique interests and talents, with opportunities to give back to the life-saving WFS community. Thank you!  

• Website Team: Tech savvy volunteers help manage the development of online content and operations. They oversee the special place where women come multiple times a day to put love and energy into their own recovery and to support others. Thank you!

• Online greeters team:  You are there to welcome each new woman who is lucky enough to find WFS and make them feel seen!  Thank you!

• Social media team:  Running our 3 FB pages is a task for sure, and we are so grateful that you all do that  with such love.  Thank you!