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“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
Dr. Benjamin Spock
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.”
“Believe in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you can imagine.”
Roy T. Bennet
#5 I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
Sobriety and Statement #5 paired together form a healthy foundation to experience recovery. Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD believed that this Statement was the core of the WFS New Life program and urged women to pay attention to and adjust their belief systems. Whether these thought patterns evolved over time or were a part of societal pressures, Statement #5 in action enables a belief in self again.
At times it feels almost too simplistic…. I am what I think…could it make any kind of difference? Yet it does. Alcohol had removed the ability to comprehend how I authentically felt and skewed perceptions. I had felt unable to manage life without alcohol; this felt so ingrained and truthful but it was just another layer of my Substance Use Disorder. WFS and the Statements helped to adjust and change that.
In our WFS Reflections for Growth booklet, Jean remarks, “Sobriety—what a marvelous adjustment! But that adjustment to sobriety is not one that is easy to make. There are many degrees in between, various stages to which we must gradually adjust as we move forward and upward to that time of our life when we have completely—and happily adjusted to our new life of sobriety.” This week, take a few moments to examine the adjustments that you have made in your recovery. What do your thought patterns look like today? How do your thought patterns differ from before your New Life? What was your most meaningful adjustment? Is there an area that needs work? Remember, you are a capable, competent, caring, and compassionate woman!
Dear 4C Women,
When I first began facilitating 34 years ago, I was questioned about what one woman saw as the simplicity of the WFS 13 Statements. My first thought was how grateful I was for the direct guidance and action part of the Statements when my life was so complicated by my addiction to alcohol. There was no internet so I started this sober journey on my own. However, after hearing Jean Kirkpatrick speak, I was filled with determination and lots of hope. I knew I needed positive changes but until I found WFS, I was unsure how to even start. The 13 Statements spoke to me as a woman with low self-esteem, feeling worthless, invisible, inadequate, and well, the list was quite long. It was that hope I initially felt that gave me motivation to keep going. For the first time, I realized I wasn’t just going to stop drinking, I was going to change my self-image, and responses to situations and people, learn coping skills, and maybe even begin to like myself – so much beyond my understanding or belief at that time.
I had a daily mantra that did absolutely nothing to change the self-image I had created of myself. There was an exercise I found that asked me to write 50 positive words to describe myself. Now if it had asked for 50 negative words, piece of cake! This Statement began to tear apart my critical self-image as I worked toward becoming a 4C woman. The most challenging two were feeling and believing I was capable and competent. Many of you know my story of my high school guidance counselor telling me I wasn’t college material, so in my mind, an authority figure was telling me I was too stupid for college. In reality, boys were my main class of interest as a teenager. That criticism was one of the first lies I had to eliminate from my negative self-image list. There were several instances like that and I began to see that I never included the positive reinforcement I received. For some reason, only the negative remarks seemed to stay stuck in my mind which kept reinforcing and validating my poor self-image.
Karen has asked insightful questions and I believe I answered the one about the most meaningful adjustment I have made in sobriety. I hope you will take the time to consider your answers. They are a guide to the positive changes you have made and areas where you need to still work a bit more. Also think about the positive feedback, support, and encouragement you have received to give a more balanced reflection. And if you’re struggling with a positive definition of who you are:
List what you are
Bonded in continuing to work toward becoming a 4C woman and “believing” every word of it, Dee
You are invited to the fifth event sponsored by The Creative Crew!
A stunning, autumn showcase of items handmade by our sisters is for sale, and there’s a greater selection than ever before! Self-care tool boxes, quilts, afghans, original paintings, a pine needle basket, a glass panel, and other delights. Buy something for a gift and at the same time support Women for Sobriety, Inc. (WFS)!
Some items will be auctioned and others are offered at “Buy It Now” for a set price. All funds (100%) support WFS.
What you need to do:
· Register or Sign In to the Holiday Sale Catalog at The 2023 Creative Crew Holiday Sale. You may now preview items online as they are added to the catalog!
TIP: If you registered for prior events like The Created with Love Sale, your login is still active. If you do not remember your password, you can request an email to reset the password.