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“Sometimes you get what you want. Other times, you get a lesson in patience, timing, alignment, empathy, compassion, faith, perseverance, resilience, humility, trust, meaning, awareness, resistance, purpose, clarity, grief, beauty, and life. Either way, you win.
“Stop asking: Why is this happening to me? Start asking: How might I learn & grow from this?
“Sometimes you simply have to accept that you can’t accomplish as much as you’d like to. If you’re sick, tired, or hurting emotionally, you just have to do what you reasonably can and then give yourself whatever you need to feel better. You may feel like you’re falling behind, but you’re not failing. You’re doing what you need to do to take good care of yourself, and that’s the most important thing you can do when you’re struggling.
#4 Problems bother me only to the degree I permit.
I now better understand my problems.
I do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
Life can be tough, but women in recovery are tougher. We stand in our strength and growth while examining a multitude of avenues and angles. We can embrace stillness and solitude. We can pause and reflect when a problem arises or we can tackle it head-on. Whichever the case, sobriety and Statement #4 in action provide greater understanding and can lead us into deeper depths of growth.
One of the simpler ways that I practice Statement #4 is by utilizing boundaries on social media and/or news. It can be so easy to get caught up in doomsday scrolling or go down a particular rabbit hole which ends up fueling negativity. Recognizing how I felt using an app or watching a certain channel changed how I used it. Before New Life, boundaries were either foreign or frightening but today they feel empowering and healthy.
From our WFS Program booklet “The value of this Statement is in learning that we can control our reactions.” In hindsight, alcohol removed the ability to adjust reactions. Usually, I ended up feeling quite overwhelmed without any middle ground. Problems will continue to exist in recovery and some will be solved easily while others take time. Yet the common denominator is our ability to control our reactions. By starting small we can foster our problem-solving abilities. Thankfully, we have WFS and Statement #4 to help guide us.
Dear 4C Women,
It is true that problems will continue in recovery although I had the misconception that once I stopped drinking, my problems would disappear. Thank goodness I was open to learning that it was how I reacted to problems and also learning the difference between problems and actual concerns that needed my attention. To think that I felt all I needed to do was to stop drinking to solve all my life issues rather than learning problem-solving skills was indeed way off base. When I think of the wasted time worrying about a lot of nothing, I was grateful to develop the coping, issue-solving, and decision-making skills to continue my sober New Life.
The best part for me was building confidence and not seeing myself as a failure when I made a mistake. Before WFS, a mistake was a life sentence of seeing myself as a total mess up that kept me stuck. There are so many decisions, and choices I have had to make over the years, especially after my divorce and since my daughter passed away 5 months ago. While it was and is scary and even heartbreaking a lot of the time, I am deeply grateful for this Statement. It gives me direction and understanding of my capabilities, my competence and knowing it’s okay to retreat when I need to, to reflect and determine what needs to be resolved and what I can just let go. I write a lot about the authenticity of feelings that I have learned in WFS. Because of that, I can share that I am sometimes unsure and not always clear about what to do, and at other times I feel completely competent. Either way, I have made a commitment to remain sober so I can continue to learn, and make the best decisions possible, not fearing the mistakes I will make.
What have you discovered is an issue that needs your attention?
What are some of the issue-solving skills you have learned?
What have you learned from a mistake you’ve made?
What is your initial response to worry?
How do you determine the difference between worry and an issue?
Who do you trust to share your concerns and get non-judgmental input?
What is the biggest lesson you have learned in practicing this Statement?
Bonded in learning from your mistakes and acknowledging your successful decision-making, Dee
You are invited to the fifth event sponsored by The Creative Crew!
A stunning, autumn showcase of items handmade by our sisters is for sale, and there’s a greater selection than ever before! Self-care tool boxes, quilts, afghans, original paintings, a pine needle basket, a glass panel, and other delights. Buy something for a gift and at the same time support Women for Sobriety, Inc. (WFS)!
Some items will be auctioned and others are offered at “Buy It Now” for a set price. All funds (100%) support WFS.
What you need to do:
· Register or Sign In to the Holiday Sale Catalog at The 2023 Creative Crew Holiday Sale. You may now preview items online as they are added to the catalog!
TIP: If you registered for prior events like The Created with Love Sale, your login is still active. If you do not remember your password, you can request an email to reset the password.