Women for Sobriety

Monday Thoughts 12.12.22

“Your crown has been bought and paid for. Put it on your head and wear it.”

Maya Angelou

“There will be haters, there will be doubters, there will be non-believers, and then there will be you proving them wrong.”

Jennifer Allen

“Know the truth. You have it in you to climb every mountain.”

Hiral Nagda 

#12 I am a competent woman, and I have much to give life.

This is what I am and I shall know it always.

She told me that I couldn’t do it and that failure would follow. Did she know me better than I knew myself? There was a choice to make and I decided she didn’t know me as well as I knew myself. She hadn’t known me for that long yet here she was, making predictions about my life, all the while painting the future with a broad stroke. Staring at her, I felt this wasn’t fair and silently questioned what was happening. In that beautiful, spectacular moment, I refused to give consent to fall in line and fail. Statement #12 swirled through me, though I hadn’t even begun to practice the WFS Statements yet.

This was a new path to follow and our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. had opened the door to a community of welcoming women; capable, competent, caring, and compassionate women! Reflecting back, it was an incredible act of strength to move out of my comfort zone and into something unfamiliar. This is what WFS and Statement #12 in action do… empower women in endless ways.

Sobriety and recovery take work but practicing Statement #12 results in a healthy belief in self and contributes to our well-being as well as to life. In the past, there was nothing healthy that I recognized from within, yet because of Statement #12, I am able to embrace those parts but also encourage inner growth and development. Thanks to Women for Sobriety, and all the women who cheered me on (and still do) I have become my own cheerleader. Go ahead and shine in your 4C Crown this week!

Hugzzz

Karen

Hi 4C Women,

When I reflect on old messages, I realize that I permitted other people’s opinions to define me. If only I had listened to those who believed in me rather than focus on the negative messages. In my youth, I never questioned people in authority for I had no life experience to counter their input. They had to be right, didn’t they? It was a difficult journey to start believing I was and am a competent woman. Thank goodness for WFS and this Statement.

I worked for the YWCA whose mission is the empowerment of women and girls. I created many programs that addressed empowerment after I was promoted to the Director of the Women’s Program Department. I was skeptical that I could provide opportunities for women to grow emotionally when I was stuck in unbelief about myself. It seemed that others believed in me long before I believed in myself. And during that time, I learned about WFS. I invited Jean Kirkpatrick to speak at the YW to educate others about addiction. I asked her if perhaps I had a problem. She looked at me and said, “If you have to ask, you probably do.” Again, a woman in authority in my eyes but this time, her response was accurate. I decided to quit drinking 34 years ago by solely utilizing the WFS Program, became a facilitator when the internet didn’t exist (grateful it does now), served on the WFS Board for 27 years, and have led groups for 33 years. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined being competent enough to take on these challenges or to share as that would have been seen as boasting. Today, I am proud to share the life changes I have made due to the WFS program.

Opening the meetings by saying I am a competent woman felt so uncomfortable at first but as time went on, I began to believe it, and live it. I am competent and empowered and that includes acknowledging when I also need input, information, and additional support and I’m not afraid to ask for it! Now that defines competence and confidence to me. We are a sisterhood that provides a safe place for bonding, to express our feelings and thoughts respectfully without judgment.  Because of the WFS empowering statements, the YW welcomed my request to have meetings there and accepted, without judgment, my problem with drinking. It took a lot of courage to share this with my supervisor. It was an amazing experience and I will always be grateful to the YW for that acceptance.

As you think about being competent, what comes to mind? Do you believe in yourself? Have you turned off the old negative messages from the past and replaced them with your true value today? If asked to describe your values, what would they be? Today, I would say I am resilient, courageous, trust my instincts, listen and continue to learn life lessons from my own experience and what others generously share with me.

Bonded in being and believing you are competent and have much to give life, Dee

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