“Talk to yourself like you would someone you love.” ~~Brene’ Brown
“You are an amazing person with unique talents Have faith in your abilities.” ~~Lailah Gifty Akita
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~~Eleanor Roosevelt
#12 I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
When I was little, my dad would sometimes ask me to retrieve a tool or item from the basement. My dad was super organized and his instructions would be specific about where to find this requested gizmo. Yet looking upon the wall of tools, I drew a blank. There was so much stuff there, I felt overwhelmed and stood there silently staring, struck with feelings of failure. My dad didn’t chastise me for not being able to find it, but I certainly did. Then I carried this thought process into adulthood.
Sobriety and Statement #12 in action lay the groundwork for growth and ability. Addiction removed recognition of worth or value and this translated into my capabilities as well. At some point feelings of “why even bother” became the norm but thankfully sobriety and WFS helped me change that. I am a capable woman, I am a competent woman, I am a caring woman, I am a compassionate woman. Rinse and repeat (like the shampoo bottle reminds us).
Who I am today is a direct result of living Statement #12 and yet there is so much more to discover and embrace. This past week, I metaphorically gazed at that giant wall of tools that once had me perplexed and was able to grab the Statement that I needed to get the job done. To the regular world, it looked like no big deal. However, I felt a surge of satisfaction and respect. I am a 4C woman!
Hi 4C Women,
I imagined Karen looking at the wall of 13 Statements and recognizing how much she gained, learned new and positive ways to cope, believed in her capabilities and understanding there is more to discover. I felt applause rise up and wishing I could be standing next to her to acknowledge all that she has accomplished as a 4C woman. I relate so much to what she has shared; the feeling of not being enough, unworthy, lacking respect and for me personally, stupid, therefore not trusting my instincts or decisions. So, to call myself a competent woman at first felt uncomfortable and definitely an unfamiliar phrase. Just like Karen, once I started to say Statement #12 again and again, it started to feel authentic. I learned to gradually reduce my abundance of negative self-talk, stopped apologizing for anything and everything that went wrong as I used to believe it was all my fault regardless of the situation, learned to accept compliments (that was a huge change) and yet the biggest change of all was acknowledging that I wasn’t stupid. My self-esteem was so low that I truly believed I had nothing to offer. It took a while to believe in myself and it was the WFS Statements that changed my life completely. When I took the time to reflect on my competency over the years, I realized I had accomplished a lot in spite of myself. Yet, it was this Statement that allowed me to believe and accept that I am a smart 4C woman. It felt awkward at first and now it feels right to say it out loud.
How do you internalize and practice Statement #12?
As you go through your day, focus on what you tell yourself, the words you use to define who you are.
My all-time favorite question is: I am worthwhile because…
Bonded in accepting, acknowledging and trusting that you are a competent woman and have much to give life, Dee