“The best time for new beginnings is now.” ~~Unknown
“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” ~~Dolly Parton
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” ~~Maya Angelou
“The best time for new beginnings is now.” ~~Unknown
“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” ~~Dolly Parton
“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” ~~Maya Angelou
#3 Happiness is habit I am developing.
Happiness is created not waited for.
Happiness today feels real and authentic thanks to the WFS New Life Program and Statement #3 in particular, yet before my New Life it felt ephemeral and unreliable. It felt like the other shoe was about to drop at any moment, so living in fear became the norm. Like a dazzling and beautiful butterfly, I was forever trying to catch happiness and hold it close, but it was gone even before realizing it was there. Alcohol and drugs can have that effect.
Understanding that we create our own happiness and that it comes from within is a concept that can bring freedom, balance and contentment. Before sobriety, it was easy to assume that things, people or alcohol (drugs) were the key to happiness but the fact is that lasting happiness originates from inside. In our WFS Program booklet our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes, “Happiness never came to me until I learned the secret of making it for myself, of finding an inner glow that somehow made all other things right.” Even in the midst of uncertainty (fear), we can move through difficulty and maintain balance.
An example of keeping a sense of balance comes with my sweet, canine companion who wagged his tail into my heart just a few years into sobriety and recovery. Recently he has been diagnosed with cancer. While this news can be anxiety inducing, there is an underlying sense of ease. Instead of drinking at an issue to escape it, managing and moving through emotions with a sober and clear mind allows for the moment to be experienced, even savored and expressed. This is where the crossroads of growth and understanding meet. So, while time may be limited, there is no limit to the amount of pure joy, happiness and love that unfolds from within.
Hugzzz
Karen
Good Morning 4C Women,
I learned a lot about myself in practicing Statement #3. At first, I was quite reluctant to accept that I was responsible for creating my own happiness. I learned two things from accepting this responsibility. One, it is actually possible and two, I can experience happiness from others as long as I am in the moment of appreciating and embracing the joy they are bringing to me.
Previously, I leaned solely on others to bring me joy so I was always waiting, putting a burden on others to make me happy. The word habit was the key to changing my thought process. I sort of overlooked that word when I realized that most of my drinking decisions were based on habit. A bad day at work, an argument, a disappointment, rejection, loss and an endless number of situations created the habit of responding with drinking to avoid and quiet those feelings. So, if my habit was to expect others to make me happy, my new habit had to be for me to find what brings me happiness and develop a new habit.
As many of you know, I am a keeper of papers – lots of papers. I found a questionnaire on happiness that I filled out back in 1993. I always try to date my papers so I can see what personal growth I have made and learn where my current focus needs to be. I got divorced in 1994 after 27 years of marriage so the answers from 1993 give me a lot to reflect on in 2021. And remember, these questions were on happiness! Unfortunately, I cannot remember where these questions came from yet I think they are just as relevant today as they were back then.
Before the questions, there was a list of 5 Foundations for Happiness:
Self-Acceptance, Personal Growth, Environmental Mastery, Positive Relationships with Others, Purpose in Life.
What do you think of these? Any you would add?
Here are the 2 questions:
10 things that give you joy/happiness/pleasure:
Identify 20 things you’re grateful for:
I listed 17 things that gave me joy. I am sharing this with you because if I had not dated this questionnaire, I would have never believed that I could list that many things when going through a divorce. I had been sober for 5 years and practicing the WFS Program which is why I know I was able to list so many. I had developed a habit of creating happiness through Statement #3. Some of the answers are quite comical as technology has certainly advanced since 1993. Some of my answers were foods that are microwaveable (guess there weren’t that many in 1993), answering machine, panty hose that fits, plus size clothes in petite (that goes back to the panty hose that fits). I listed 21 things I was grateful for and those were more serious except for I don’t have to iron because of wash and wear and men with long hair. I have no idea about why I was grateful for men with long hair but not having to iron is still something I am grateful for.
I hope you are able to answer these questions with thoughtfulness, a bit of humor and finding that you are developing a habit of creating your joy, happiness, contentment – whichever word fits you.
Bonded in developing a new, healthy, well-being habit of happiness, Dee
