Monday Thoughts 7.8.24

“You deserve happiness even if you’re not used to it.” 

Unknown

“Ironically enough, when you make peace with the fact that the purpose of life is not happiness, but rather experience and growth, happiness comes as a natural byproduct. When you are not seeking it as the objective, it will find its way to you.”

Unknown

“When you stop looking at what you have lost, you can better see what you have.” 

Karen Salmansohn

#3 Happiness is a habit I am developing.

Happiness is created, not waited for.

In our WFS Program booklet, our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes “Happiness never came to me until I learned the secret of making it for myself, of finding an inner glow that somehow made all other things right.” With the heavy curtain of active addiction thrown wide open, Statement #3 in action provides pause to deeply examine what makes you happy or makes your insides smile.

For a long time, my happiness was plugged into someone else’s life instead of energizing my own. I did this to make those I held in high regard happy, or did that to fit in, belong, feel normal. Living life felt shadowed with a deep sense of powerlessness. It wasn’t until sobriety and recovery that I learned that I was deserving of my own happiness, and a responsibility to create it. 

Investing in my own happiness begins with first identifying what joys uplift my heart, along with daily small or mini movements towards creating it. It can be as simple as creating an action plan to go on the trip of my dreams, choosing destinations, passports, saving money to a deeper investment of feeling more comfortable being assertive. Focusing on health with preventative appointments is another action that relates to Statement #3, it is a way to insure future contentment, ease or happiness. All of these things combined create a 4C platform of stability that strengthens over time.  This week, look at what actions you take to create happiness in your life. Compare your minor and major actions that you use towards your joys. What feels difficult for you? What is easy to accomplish? What small action will you take today?

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

For several years, Nina and I presented workshops at the WFS conference. Creating and working together brought me great joy. We would meet in my office going over our plans, laughing, being serious but always appreciating our friendship, our connection through WFS. Nina and I still talk with each other every week and I asked her what she thought happiness meant to her. She shared that for her happiness is about relationships and connecting to others. As I thought about what she said, I realized I felt that same way.  It started with facilitating meetings, and being able to witness the willingness of women to be both courageous in walking through the doors to attend a meeting and to continue the work of building a strong recovery. I also developed close, authentic friendships that I yearned for. I am grateful to have experienced feeling connected in a very meaningful way at the conference this year. I led a meeting with 27 women in attendance which was definitely the largest meeting I have ever facilitated in person. As I looked around the circle of women, I was filled with so much compassion for how connected I felt to them, and how willing they were to share their feelings – the foundation of WFS. The love given to me throughout the weekend touched my heart so tenderly and I felt that bond Nina talked about. It was 5 years since I had been able to travel back to NJ and PA. To be with friends I have missed dearly, and to reconnect in a powerful way is still holding me up with so much happiness. I am cherishing those moments. Many women told me how Monday Thoughts helped them and are used at some WFS meetings. I have to say that it is the friendship I have with Karen and her words that encourage me to write. We always say we are a wonderful team and I feel that to my core. I really needed to be reminded of this happiness of being connected to others and having a common cause of creating a New Life. The acknowledgment I received with all the love and understanding is a feeling I will carry with me as I continue my grief work, knowing I am still making a difference. Who would have thought a substance use disorder would lead me to uncovering and discovering my happiness and yet it has! 

As you think about what brings you joy, consider your purpose, who are your trusted and loving relationships, and the connections you have that are meaningful to you. This statement reminds me of the positive we share in meetings. It’s all about awareness. In the beginning, I struggled with finding anything positive yet I began to search purposefully for those moments and it made such a difference. I realized that among the struggles, there were glimpses of joy. I just had to uncover and discover them! 

I am having fusion surgery on my neck on July 22. The support and caring I am already receiving are because of the connections and relationships I have been able to build. I am so grateful to Nina for her insight and for reminding me what a gift I have been given by those invaluable relationships in my life. Think about your joyful moments, the memories you’ve created of happiness, and the connections with others that you have built. Write them down and keep them close when doubts of happy moments start knocking at your door. With the passing of my daughter, this has been a challenging year for me to practice this Statement yet seeing my friends, my family, and feeling so much love and support at the conference, reminded me that moments of happiness exist.  

Bonded in discovering your purpose, having gratefulness for your trusted, loving relationships and creating awareness of those joyful moments, Dee

I am excited to announce we have a new Women for Sobriety, Inc. Board President, Veena I. Veena has been a valuable member of our organization, serving on the Board as Vice President, leading the Facilitator Team as well as facilitating meetings on WFS Online, and working closely with the Web Services and Conference Teams. We are confident she will continue to lead WFS with passion and dedication.

In addition, Deborah H. is our new Board Secretary and we welcome Deb to the leadership of WFS. Deb also facilitates meetings on WFS Online and serves with the Volunteer Empowerment Team. In addition, she assists me with grant writing and research. We are truly grateful for her willingness to serve in these important roles.

Britt R. is continuing her tenure as our Board Treasurer, working to ensure we are a fiscally responsible organization. Britt has also served as a regional meeting Certified Facilitator, performed oversight for WFS Online Forum Management, and is currently responsible for a portion of our social media postings. Britt is an amazing asset to WFS.

Also, please join me in acknowledging and thanking our outgoing Board President, Jean H., for her unwavering commitment to WFS. Jean continues to facilitate meetings on WFS Online, and has served on the Forum Management Team, Website Services Team, and Conference Team. Jean will remain on the Board as one of our Directors. Her leadership has been inspiring, and we greatly appreciate her service to our community.

Our deepest thanks also go out to Lisa L. for her service as Board Secretary. Lisa has been a longtime participant in the WFS community, and has led the Conference Team for several years, creating memorable experiences for all attendees. She also will continue on the Board, and serves as a regional meeting Certified Facilitator. Her dedication to WFS has been truly remarkable.

Lastly, we want to express our gratitude to all members of the Board of Directors for their tireless efforts in governing WFS. In addition to our Officers, Board Members include Jean H., Lisa L., Karen H. (Bunny), Ellen K., and Ginger R., plus Honorary Board Members Karen H., Susie M., and Dee W. Without their passionate leadership, we would not be able to grow and serve the women in our community.

Congratulations to our new WFS Board President Veena and Secretary Deb. Along with our entire Board, we welcome the future with its endless exciting opportunities for WFS to thrive!

In gratitude and joy,

Michelle Shaivitz Ed.D. 

Executive Director