Monday Thoughts 4.15.24

“She never seemed shattered to me; she was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she’s won.”

M. Baker

“When someone spews something really hurtful don’t pick it up and hold it and rub it into your heart and snuggle with it and carry it around for a long time. Don’t even put energy into kicking it to the curb. You got to see it and step over it or go around it and keep going.

Brené Brown

“You don’t always have to find the good in the bad. Some pains are so deep it feels impossible to reframe them. But if you can find something to appreciate in spite of your pain, you’ll have a little hope. And sometimes, finding a little hope is a huge step on the path to peace and healing.”

Lori Deschene

#4 Problems bother me only to the degree I permit.

I now better understand my problems.

I do not permit problems to overwhelm me.

Strong women have moved through difficult experiences with resilience, courage and action with the WFS Statements, especially Statement #4. This creates a strong and empowering framework that was unattainable before sobriety and recovery but flourishes in our New Lives.

Statement #4 has helped me move through some of the most traumatic situations and intense emotions.  This allowed me to identify and embrace inner strength while learning something valuable from the depths of something painful. Before sobriety, this was paralyzing and defeating; zapping self-esteem while reinforcing active addiction.

While some problems can be minor and processed easily, others may need more support. The WFS Community, from face-to-face meetings to our robust WFS Online forum and annual WFS Conference, offers a bond like no other, fostering connection while empowering healing and growth. Learning new coping skills, identifying solutions, and accepting that healing has no timeline – all nourish our 4C recovery. What is your method for moving through something difficult?

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

I used to believe that my role as a woman and people pleaser was to solve problems, big or small, within my family, my friends, or anyone who happened to share a problem with me. All that problem-solving left me little or no time to focus on learning to problem-solve my own issues. I was living in chaos. What a difference WFS and recovery have made in my life. I have learned to discern between ordinary everyday problems and real concerns that need to be addressed which means I learned problem-solving and decision-making skills through WFS. I also realized that I am compassionate about supporting and encouraging others. I feel the best way to do that is to listen, offer input if I have experienced a similar situation, and share the tools I have learned in order for them to make their own best decision. That’s empowering to them. Lastly, if I or they made the incorrect decision, I consider that another life lesson and another tool to add to the toolbox. In fact, I have sometimes learned more from the incorrect decisions because I was willing to do so. Very different from my drinking days when I beat myself up for days on end. No lesson learned there!

I still make lists of pros and cons, seek input from those I feel safe with, give myself the time I need to decide, and listen to those who need just to be heard, and in fact, I find that sometimes I come to a decision after talking about it with a good listener. 

I love that Karen reminded us that healing has no timeline. As long as we are willing students along this journey and share our learned insights so that we become teachers as well, healing will take place at its own pace. 

Bonded in learning not to let problems overwhelm us and learning how to make healthier decision-making, problem-solving solutions in a safe place with our WFS sisters, Dee

In addition to the educational workshops during our conference, there will be plenty of time for meaningful connection through activities such as a drum circle, relaxation with massage appointments, and fun with the dance party. Hope you make plans to join us!!!