Monday Thoughts 3.25.24

“Today, we are alive – not anesthetized, not sedated, not passed out. Take control of your feelings, and through action, you can change. Today, as every day of sober living, we have a choice.”

Ann D. Clark

“I have regretted many things while under the influence but I have never regretted sobriety.”

a fabulous 4C woman

“When I got sober, I thought giving up was saying goodbye to all the fun and all the sparkle, and it turned out to be just the opposite. That’s when the sparkle started for me.”

Mary Karr

#1 I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

I now take charge of my life and my well-being.

I accept the responsibility.

It was unremarkable, she simply said, “You are a 4C woman.” 4C, meaning capable, competent, caring and compassionate. Those words brightened the deepest recesses of my heart! It felt magical and uplifting to hear but especially connecting. For years, emotional pain had kept feelings of regret and shame alive, altering perspectives and inflaming self-doubt. No more. Here was the sisterhood, the tribe, the courageous 4C women, and the WFS New Life program. Statement #1 at the ready.

One of the things that initially played through my mind was a type of skepticism. While I fully acknowledged (though rather silently) that my body was suffering from alcohol use, the effects on my self-worth and relationships were simply not that apparent to me. Easily minimizing and glossing over things, I needed a large, neon billboard to catch my eye and mind. I knew deep down that my drinking was a problem yet like our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD said in our WFS Program booklet “I still thought that I might possibly manage it.” 

Deciding to give it a year and see what happened, I jumped into the WFS Online forum and learned about the science of addiction and that I am a valuable human being. Discovering new tools for coping with everyday life and how to manage cravings or triggers, sobriety was developing into recovery and a beautiful New Life. I didn’t need a year to make my mind up. This is living. A wondrous ordinarily exciting 4C life!

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

The journey to recovery has the same goal yet our paths are so individual and for me, that is the strength of the WFS program. It provides insightful guidance as we accept the responsibility for change, working through the problem that once had us. For me, it was all about feelings that triggered me, that made me feel worthless. As I began my sober journey, I began to realize even more how I accepted hurtful words and treatment because that is what I felt I deserved. One word, one condescending look was all it took for me to stop the pain of rejection and not being good enough by numbing it with alcohol. I continue to learn, to change and when I start to have doubts, I just remind myself that I am struggling at this moment, not forever. I have a choice on how I will respond and react to that moment. I reflect on all the struggles, the changes, the ups and downs and give myself credit for not giving up even when I might have felt like I wanted to. I guess I was expecting it to be easier but actually, my feelings erupted like an explosion. I wasn’t quite prepared for that yet it was those feelings I kept pushing down that needed attention and healing. WFS gave me the space to express, explore, and find a way to cope and heal. When I found WFS, there was no internet so outreach and support were definitely limited. Today, there is so much support whether it is face-to-face meetings, zoom meetings, and WFS Online. It is a supportive community and knowing you do not have to ever be alone is a gift we all benefit from. 

I often think how different my life would be without the coping tools and the WFS statements that changed my life which in turn saved my life. If I met the woman I was, I would tell her how grateful I am that she persevered, that she became a 4C woman, and most of all, that she learned to love and respect herself. She faced tough challenges yet she was better equipped to handle them thanks to WFS. 

As you practice this Statement, consider these questions:

What do you need to discard in order to be in charge of your New Life – a toxic relationship, fears that are blocking you from moving forward, ignoring your needs after you uncover and discover what they are?

Are you aware of your triggers?

What coping skills have you developed to support you in making healthier choices when you are triggered?

Does the negative reaction of others who question the changes you are making in your life create doubt in yourself? How do you counter that to keep on track?  

Who is part of your support system?

Do you know in your heart that you are worth becoming a 4C woman and deserve to celebrate every success along the way?

Bonded in accepting the responsibility of being in charge of your life and well-being because you are worthy and deserving, Dee

You can make a difference and help keep the lights on for more women to find the path to her New Life. How? By making your donation of time or money today.

As of March 22nd, we have raised $3,926.66. With your donation, we can close the gap and reach our goal to raise $32,000!

This year our Major Donor challenges all of us to support Women for Sobriety with our time, our talent and/or our treasure. Every volunteer hour makes a difference. Every volunteer skill makes a difference. Every dollar makes a difference.

Make a donation today and/or sign up to be a volunteer! For more information, read this announcement.

Thank you!
WFS Advancement Team
Empowering Women in Recovery