Monday Thoughts 3.18.24

“Sometimes, all you need is a break from others needing you, because you need you for a while.”
Unknown

“Sometimes the path you want to be walking isn’t yet visible. Keep going until you find it—or until you decide it’s time to create it.”

Dani DiPirro

“Sometimes you simply have to accept that you can’t accomplish as much as you’d like to. If you’re sick, tired, or hurting emotionally, you just have to do what you reasonably can and then give yourself whatever you need to feel better. You may feel like you are falling behind but you’re not failing. You are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself, and that’s the most important thing you can do when you are struggling.”

Lori Deschene

#13 I am responsible for myself and for my actions.

I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

Sometimes, sobriety and recovery can feel full of routine and certainty, much like the familiar sight of a rising and setting sun. This is where action into the WFS Statements can feel comfortable and stabilizing. Then at other times, applying action to a particular Statement can feel increasingly uncomfortable and chaotic, bringing up feelings similar to those days or nights being under the influence. Fortunately progressing through the WFS Statements can bring about feelings of balance and understanding while fending off relapse.

Sometimes, practicing Statement #13 can feel like an awakening, carrying us into a depth of living that was previously unknown. It is indescribable. One of my favorite images of this Statement in action is envisioning our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D., giving one of her many presentations about the Women for Sobriety program so it could help other women. Jean is still touching lives today.

Sometimes, like the changing seasons, the sobriety and recovery road has its own intervals. It’s important to know and understand that no two roads will be identical. The WFS Statements are here for us to embrace, turn to, or even cling to like during those slippery slopes that can appear seemingly out of nowhere.  Sometimes though, is our time. Now is the time of your beautiful 4C New Life.

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

When I first began my recovery journey, the thought of being responsible for myself and for my actions was frightening. I didn’t have the confidence to believe I could be that woman. When I read Jean’s book, Goodbye Hangovers, Hello Life, I realized that I had a choice to either start believing I could be in charge of my life or continue on the same fearful path of not being good enough to even try. I was fortunate that I worked for the YWCA at that time with its mission of the empowerment of women. While I believed in the YW mission and yearned to be empowered, I didn’t have all the tools to put it into action. I pretended a lot but not feeling it authentically. Then came the tools I needed – the WFS 13 Statements of Acceptance for a New Life. It took perseverance and a strong desire to be in charge of my life, letting go of negative thoughts about myself, willing to try and learning through my failures and successes  This Statement in practice gave me hope and then fulfillment. 

Nancy Cross talked about respect in 2007 in response to Jean Kirkpatrick’s remarks on respecting the rights of others regarding this Statement. Nancy wrote that what binds us to one another is often respect. I yearned deeply for respect. I didn’t go to college and it made me feel unworthy, so much so that I didn’t feel I could be in charge of my life. I was unworthy. I found my response to Nancy’s message and want to share it now as my feelings on respect have remained much the same. Here is what I wrote: “Earning respect for me began with respecting myself just as needing acceptance began with accepting myself. I feel such compassion for those women whose journey has been extremely difficult and who are still willing to work hard at change. I admire those who do not let their past behavior keep them down but instead challenge them to grow. It is not an easy accomplishment yet possible. It is not the length of the journey but the willingness to take it! There have been so many women that I have met in WFS who have suffered great losses and chose to work through the pain and make a new life. I am in awe at the resilience of these women to keep moving forward. We are not here to judge others but to be 4C women, to give support and encouragement. Just as we need, we must give.” 

So, in learning to respect myself, I learned I could take charge of my life and in doing so, I could be responsible for my actions moving forward. The fear lessened and my personal growth and empowerment took hold. I learned to accept the consequences of my mistakes and not go back to feeling inadequate. Instead, I learned more about my abilities and how courageous I was becoming in that acceptance. No more hiding, or pretending. I was learning not only did I survive my mistakes in this growing stage of recovery, but I was acknowledging my successes as well. Think of where you are right now. What have you learned about yourself as you take charge of your life? What fears have you worked through? I sometimes think about what my life would be like if I had not found WFS when I did. Fortunately, I did find WFS, I did decide to be in charge of my life and my actions and I will forever be grateful to Jean Kirkpatrick for her courage, her insight, and her sharing this life-changing program with us. 

Bonded in realizing we have nothing to lose and so much to gain in practicing this empowering Statement, Dee

Share your story and inspire others.

For many years, I shared with my doctor how important and effective Women for
Sobriety’s programs and services were as part of my personal recovery program. Then
on a routine visit, I was delighted to find the WFS brochure pinned to a bulletin board. It
was a bit used from push pin holes and being handled by many! If just one woman was
helped how awesome would that be? I shared my joy on WFS Online and on the New
Life Program Facebook Group.

After reading my story, three other women were inspired to share WFS brochures with
their doctors. One of them was Deborah. She too was thrilled to have her doctor’s
appreciation and commitment to share the brochure with the rest of the staff.
Let’s keep it going. You too can be part of the WFS outreach effort and inspire others.
Simply send an email to [email protected] with your questions or
request for ten brochures to spread the word with your health professional!

Bonded,
Bunny and Deborah
WFS Board Members