Monday Thoughts 2.19.24

“You can’t give your life more time, so give the time you have left more life.”

Unknown

“The beautiful thing about life is that you can always change, grow, and get better. You aren’t defined by your past. You aren’t your mistakes.”

Unknown

“Three things you cannot recover in life: the word after it’s said, the moment after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.”

Unknown

#9 The past is gone forever.

No longer am I victimized by the past.

I am a new woman.

In our weekly WFS meeting when we read the Statements out loud together oftentimes a woman will add “The past does not define me” after reading Statement #9. It’s an empowering proclamation and I have even felt a shift in perspective after saying it. Yet for so many of us, the past did define who we were, and if nothing else, in our own minds. We then fell or were pushed into a victim role, unsure how to move forward. 

Statement #9 encouraged me to actively look within. When I did, the realization of how tightly I was clinging to the past stared right back. Slowly a shift began to happen with this understanding. It was like unknowingly gripping the steering wheel with clenched fists and then gradually relaxing that tight hold. This opened up acceptance. It was difficult, but possible. I didn’t have to like whatever it was that had happened; all I had to do was to accept it. With acceptance, there was no more letting go. Now I was letting in and open to opportunities.

As stated in our WFS Program booklet, “The past is a fact. The present and future are open to possibility.” Every day in every way there are opportunities for presence and an introduction to understanding. So, while you’re driving down the road of sobriety and recovery, keep your eyes focused forward and enjoy the scenery going by through the windshield. As the old adage goes…Don’t get stuck staring into the rearview mirror, you’re not going that way.

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

The past is a fact – I’m reflecting on that and being so grateful that the facts do not determine my present or my future today. I have a choice and WFS gave that to me. There are still some facts that make me squirm, yet I can’t change them or offer excuses for my behaviors as I did in the past. Fortunately, I have learned many lessons from my past and while there will always be some regrets, I am not the same person who used alcohol to cope and make decisions that were certainly not helping personal growth. I was really stuck in the labels I placed on myself, i.e., worthless, unlovable, stupid and the list goes on. I was the Victim Queen and not to say that my past growing up and into adulthood didn’t have a crushing impact on my self-esteem because it did. It took a lot to learn to love myself enough so that I could see myself in a positive light, start healing from the past, and make healthier decisions in my recovery. I learned to accept myself where I was as I slowly and sometimes painfully discarded the labels that no longer truly defined me. 

This Statement has always been my favorite and as I continue working on my grief over my daughter’s passing, this Statement is helping to support me as the regrets of the “what ifs” are flooding my mind. This is typical of loss. You may feel or have felt this loss when you stopped drinking or using drugs. The, what if I had stopped sooner or never started at all. What I tell myself when those thoughts come in is, “Well that isn’t what happened, and I can either stay in the victim mode or learn from those choices and strengthen my recovery.” 

Think about how you respond when the regrets or what-ifs appear.

 What do you say to yourself?

 Have you given yourself credit for moving forward if it’s one day or one year or more?

 What is the biggest positive lesson you have learned in healing from the past?

 What does being a new woman mean to you?

Bonded in healing from the past and becoming a new woman who is not defined by her past, Dee

Join us on Sunday, February 25th!

Jean H., WFS President and Chair, will lead a recovery meeting at 4 PM Eastern, in honor of Nancy Cross’ birthday. Let’s talk about All Love Given Returns!

Two Game Day events for us to share laughter and lighthearted competition at noon and 8 PM Eastern.

All three events will be held on the same special Zoom link.

Bring your completed and colored in crossword puzzle to the meeting to enter the drawing for a prize!