Monday Thoughts 2.12.24

“No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.”

Althea Gibson

“Permit yourself to change your mind when something is no longer working for you.”

Nedra Glover Tawwab

“Don’t wait until you’ve reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take toward reaching that goal.”

Simone Biles

#8 The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

It would be difficult to imagine a top gymnast or tennis player achieving their goals without any support. More than likely, they would not reach the Olympics or Wimbledon. The same can be true for daily goals and growth in sobriety and recovery, it would be hard to experience attainable goals, depth, or understanding without support. This is where the WFS Community and Statement #8 in action enable growth in mind and heart.

While most of us don’t have an Olympic goal in mind, the number one goal we do have in our New Life is continuing sobriety and recovery. In our WFS Program booklet, it states, “Growth is an essential aspect of our recovery. It is the process of learning who we are and where to focus our efforts for personal change.” The beauty of this Statement is that this growth is as individual as we are. No recovery path looks the same even though we are traveling towards the same goal. This is where community support adds to the journey.

Connecting with the WFS Community is easy, it provides a portal for feeling supported, whether it be face-to-face meetings, online chat/zoom meetings, or the WFS Online Forum. This week, WFS is continuing Love Yourself Month, and stay tuned for exciting information on our next WFS Conference. A wonderful way to invest in yourself while adding action to Statement #8 is to volunteer. Your time and talents are always welcome and needed! You can learn more here. This week, take time to acknowledge how far you have come. You have made progress, made connections, and are a part of something larger than yourself, you are a part of this incredible WFS Community!

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

When I reflect on the ways I have been encouraged and supported over the years, I am just so grateful. There were certainly times when others believed in me long before I did. It was WFS that helped me realize that I had so many teachers along the way and as I grew emotionally and spiritually, I became a teacher as well. The best part of this realization is that I am still a student when need be as the bond we all share is learning from each other. 

Growing emotionally and spiritually has helped me tremendously in knowing my purpose. My priorities need to match my purpose. Along with that knowledge comes insight as to what changes need to be made to fulfill my purpose and set priorities. Do I spend my time and energy on my purpose? It is empowering to know that as life changes, so does our understanding of what matters to us which means our purpose can change as well. Emotional and spiritual growth comes from that acceptance.

 Who was and is your teacher in your life? What made them your teacher?

 Have you discovered your purpose? 

 Has it changed over time?

 Do you use your time and energy on your priorities/purpose? 

Bonded in discovering our purpose, setting priorities, and accepting change as we grow emotionally and spiritually, Dee

I return today from two weeks off celebrating my wedding to my husband. We have been together for eight years and after Covid-19 interrupted our first wedding, we were finally able to celebrate in front of those we love this month.

An important person in my life wasn’t there: my mother. I was her only child and she spoiled me as much as she could. She was an extremely generous person, the hardest worker I’ve ever met, and had the ability to make friends wherever she went. There are a lot of qualities that she has that I try to emulate, but one I never will: my mom suffered from alcohol use disorder. It defined her, and, in the end, it destroyed her.

She was addicted to alcohol before I was born and though she tried rehab, a lot of my younger years involved her trying to fight the disease. I remember being four and losing a tooth during an AA meeting. When I was able to drive, it would be my job to take her to meetings. No matter the illnesses that affected her, she couldn’t loosen the grip alcohol had on her. There are points where I’m not sure she wanted to, points where the comfort of the drink was more important than facing the reality of adulthood and motherhood.

In 2019, two weeks after my birthday, my mother passed away from a combination of stage 4 liver and lung cancer. My boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband, rushed my proposal so she could die knowing I was engaged, that I would be taken care of. The void she left has been a phantom during the last year of wedding planning: picking a venue without her, going wedding dress shopping without her, having a bachelorette party without her. On paper, it was cancer that killed her, but it was her drinking that left me without a mother on my most special day.

After two weeks of diligent preparation in all areas of beauty, our theme this month feels all the more important. I spent thousands of dollars to look lovely, but did it make me love myself any more? It strikes me as yet another lost mother-daughter opportunity. No one could love me more than she did, but as she never learned to love herself, how could she pass that on? 

As I toasted my marriage with Martinelli’s sparkling cider, I realized I already am loving myself in my own way. By not drinking, by never drinking, I am breaking the cycle that has prevented generations of my family from loving themselves. I can promise that what killed my mother will not kill me. In that way, I am stronger than history, stronger than alcohol, stronger than her. And maybe, if you consider how powerful that self love is, her death was simply her final gift to me.

Finding that love for yourself can be chaotic, all-consuming, full of intangibles. But what you do for yourself – how you hold yourself, talk to yourself, treat yourself – is just as important as any interaction with another. I can love myself because my mom loved me enough for both of us until she couldn’t anymore, and I hold that within me every day. As we work together to break the cycles chaining us to the past, forgive yourself. Honor yourself. Love yourself. 

Kelly Taylor
Executive Administrative Manager