Monday Thoughts 1.8.24

“You deserve happiness even if you’re not used to it.”

Unknown

“Sometimes one tiny shift from your daily routine can set you on a completely different trajectory for your life. You meet someone who becomes a lifelong friend. You see something you want to try that becomes a new passion. Or maybe it’s just that you feel more alive and decide you want to feel that more often, opening you up to even more possibilities. Get outside your bubble. Odds are you’ll be glad you did.” –

Lori Deschene

“Happiness is a habit—cultivate it.”

Elbert Hubbard

#3 Happiness is a habit I am developing.

Happiness is created, not waited for.

As we near the middle of January and new resolutions start feeling uncertain, we can take comfort in knowing that both happiness and change are both individual and don’t fall into a 21-day habit guarantee. Countless articles have been written about how it takes 21 days to form a habit, yet this concept has been misinterpreted. Further examination and a study by P. Lally, Ph.D., a senior researcher at University College London found that it takes an average of 66 days while also reporting that it can take 18 to 254 days before the behavior begins to feel automatic. This holds the door open for sobriety and Statement #3 to settle in and become natural and instinctive.

Sobriety can feel the exact opposite of natural after living with a Substance Use Disorder, yet adapting to and embracing the WFS New Life Statements can begin a lifetime of growth and contentment. In my own journey I have found that it is in the little things, the slight changes that add to feelings of joy or happiness. Over time these small actions create an outline to follow and new habits settle in almost without notice.

In our WFS Program booklet, the last line of Statement #3 says, “Experience the joy of living.” This is possible through practicing the Statements from our expanding WFS organization and because of connected 4C women like you. Cultivate and grow your happiness every day!

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

I recently was asked, “What do I want to leave behind in 2023 and what do I want to bring into 2024?” Such powerful questions and I feel they relate so much to this Statement. What’s great about the questions for me is that it is not a resolution as such where after a certain amount of time and not sticking to it, I would feel like I failed. It’s made me think about what I have learned about myself this past year and how I want to start creating happy and joyful moments in 2024. In order to do that, I need plans, reasonable plans that I can actually follow through with. I have also thought about what means the most to me and that is relationships. I thought about adding self-care but I’ve been struggling with that, especially this past year. I know self-care creates a healing process emotionally and physically. Some of the answers to leaving behind in 2023 were guilt, regret, lack of forgiveness, and resentment. Most of those feelings relate to my daughter’s passing so it is a completely different answer than at any time in my life yet in living by the WFS program, I am able to be authentic in expressing and sharing my feelings. What do I want to bring in 2024 is self-compassion, 2^nd guessing myself, and putting self-care into action with doable, realistic action plans.  

In saying that, I won’t plan to walk a mile each day, yet I feel the need to create the motivation to do the exercises I’ve been given by my chiropractor to help ease my back pain. In doing so, I feel a happy thought in following through. That thought is me driving to the WFS Conference in June, seeing dear friends, and visiting my family in PA and friends in NJ. It’s become clear to me that practicing Statement #3 is uncovering what I value the most such as relationships. I’ve experienced wonderful, loving and caring relationships so often in my life since being sober and it has helped me to continue working on maintaining those heart connections. I think that’s why what I want to leave behind in 2023 is a lot of a past I cannot change and is filled with pain that doesn’t serve me going forward. I also know these feelings are a part of grief and won’t magically disappear. However, I also know that if I create action plans for 2024, I can hopefully ease the depth of my understandable grief. 

So, what matters the most to you that could create joy and happiness or even peace and contentment? How could you create action plans that would bring it to fruition? Can you release the I’ll be happy when… and focus on what you value in your life that brings you joy, and puts a smile on your face in the present? 

Bonded in learning what we value, how to make action plans to bring joy and happiness into your life, and always know you are worthy of self-care, Dee

Join the creative fun to complete a bear or bunny in the Teddy
Bear Challenge’s All Love Given Returns project by January 26!
Use the QR Code for details to sign up!