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Monday Thoughts 10.9.23
“Always keep your chin up, otherwise you’re just staring at your boobs all day.”
Unknown
“Breathe in the good shit, breathe out the bullshit.”
Karen Salmansohn
“Trust the next chapter because you are the author.”
Unknown
#3 Happiness is a habit I am developing.
Happiness is created not waited for.
Laughter is just as important in sobriety and recovery as putting the WFS Statements into action and Statement #3 opens the door to that joyful experience. I recall thinking that there would be no more fun or excitement before my New Life; sobriety felt like such a huge ending but it was actually a beautiful beginning.
Substance Use Disorder removes our ability to authentically feel yet when we invest in our New Life, it can surprisingly feel flat or lackluster. In order to overcome this, one of the things I turned to was laughter. Taking a moment to consider the things that brought out a belly laugh, Statement #3 was put into motion.
In our WFS Reflections for Growth booklet, our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, Ph.D. writes “Happiness is a state of mind first. Then it becomes a state of being.” By putting effort into creating even small moments of joy or laughter we can invest in our recovery and our well-being. This week, let the laughter roll and the giggles grow!
Hugzzz
Karen
Dear 4C Women,
I believe many misunderstand this Statement in the beginning. I know I did. I thought I had to be continually happy which is not possible and can be discouraging if that is the belief. What I learned and continue to learn is that there are moments of happiness, there are moments of sadness, and a myriad of other feelings. The key I learned in WFS is to acknowledge all of my feelings. There is no right or wrong. Feelings just are and my previous way of coping with diverse feelings that I didn’t understand was to run away from them and numb them. Over the years, I have learned to create my moments of joy and happiness. I realized what a burden I had placed on others to make them responsible for my happiness. Even now as I am grieving, I would not expect others to make me happy, to fill the sad place I am in. This doesn’t mean that others can’t encourage me, love me, and bring joy to my life. What I do know is that I am blessed to have experienced happiness over the years and those memories are a part of my heart. The gift WFS has given me is to be my authentic self, to express and share all of my feelings with happiness being one of them. I acknowledge it is my responsibility to create happiness and I also acknowledge that others can add happiness to my life.
Can you recall the last happy experience you had that you created?
Who are the people that have added joy to your life? What was the situation?
Do you have a song(s) that makes you want to jump up, start dancing, and enhance a positive, joyful mood?
Your surroundings can add a smile of joy/happiness. I love to decorate for each season and keep my Christmas tree up with fun memories of holidays past. Right now my tree and house are decorated for the Fall, Thanksgiving, and Halloween. Another happy surrounding is my nightstand. I exchange mementos often. I’ll put up a photo, special card, gift, book, or whatever has touched my heart. It’s the first thing I see in the morning and I feel the smile and joy begin my day.
What would you put on your nightstand or another place in your house?
I also know there are many ways to create happiness. I am happy when my dog, Molly, greets me at the door or wakes me up in the morning way too early for her breakfast. I joke and tell her that she has at least an hour to go before breakfast. She looks at me as if to say, okay, I’ll wait but I wouldn’t mind if you fed me early. I always laugh at her look.
I volunteer in the church office that has a Mother’s Morning Out. When those kids come down the hallway and wave to me, I just feel so joyful.
I was in Walmart recently when a woman started talking to me and she decided that she wanted to share her talents of whistling two complete songs and country line dancing right there in the frozen aisle. I have no idea why she felt this was necessary but when I got back to my car, I laughed for a very long time. I even laughed when she looked in my cart and told me I needed to watch my weight. I told her the ice cream was my grieving food. Thanks to WFS, I was not intimidated by her remark or even thinking of putting the ice cream back. I decided to take a weird moment and found laughter and joy in it.
Bonded in developing happiness and keeping that chin up, Dee
Thank you for your enthusiasm and participation in September’s Recovery Month. Please take a moment to offer us feedback so we can improve as we continue offering unique opportunities to support each other in our New Lives!
