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Monday Thoughts 5.9.22
“I’ve always had the feeling that life loves the liver of it. You must live and life will be good to you, give you experiences.”
Maya Angelou
“The choice to love is the choice to connect—to find ourselves in the other.”
Bell Hooks
“Actually, being able to exercise your own choice can bring about greater opportunity. I think it’s just as important what you say no to as what you say yes to.”
Sandra Oh
Love… as a choice? It has taken sobriety and practicing Statement #7 as well as a life examined to begin to understand that love is a verb. Love is not static or fixed, but rather an action, or the center of expression. Sure, love “makes the world go round” yet I had difficulty comprehending the concept of love as a choice. Alcohol had blurred the lines of everything, including love.
The WFS New Life Program and the Statements are about choice. Learning to live without alcohol is the beginning of the journey, discovery is then unleashed and choices abound, including love. Saying “NO” to alcohol says “YES” to you. This one choice opens up a whole world, one that was hidden away behind the pain of substance use.
Today, everyday experiences are examples of choice and love in their purest form. Instead of escape, sobriety and recovery offer a way to transform into the living of life and love. Choice expands and so does our insight. In our WFS Program booklet, it states “Practice of Statement #7 leads to understanding love and the importance of self-care. Our New Life depends on establishing healthy, loving relationships, first with ourselves and then with others.” Choose love today.
Hugzzz
Karen
Hi 4C Women,
I had been talking to a friend about helping a family member who was resistant to helping themselves and it was wearing me down. I was exhausted and frustrated. My friend looked at me with concern and said, “You can’t care more than they do.” It was one of those light bulb moments! I understood that while it is compassionate to care about others, leaving myself out of the equation of caring and self-love can empty my own love tank. And when the well is dry, it is next to impossible to give what you don’t have. This is not a new theory yet it felt brand new to me in recovery. Statement #7 was going to the well, filling my bucket with self-love, and sharing love with others –creating a beautiful balance. It is self-love and self-care that provided me the vulnerability to be open to loving others authentically while still taking care of my needs. I always thought it was one or the other. Sacrifice was the way I lived yet it was at the expense of my own peace and contentment. It was through WFS, Statement #7, that taught me my world could encompass loving myself and others without sacrificing either. The only difference was that I began setting boundaries when I felt I cared way too much than they did. These boundaries were and still are, at times, challenging for me depending mostly on with whom I am setting them. Family is definitely the most challenging because of the emotional history and roles we have played for many years. My need for acceptance was way out of proportion to the point of being emotionally unhealthy, even unattainable. I was in such fear of rejection. Who would love me if I didn’t ignore my needs and focused only on the needs of others? There was no balance, no recognition that I mattered. Being a facilitator taught me more about caring than I ever dreamed possible. I began to feel cared about as I cared about the women who courageously walked into a meeting, searching for a New Life. My heart, my love tank, was no longer empty. It is incomprehensible at times to reflect on the woman I was – fearful, self-loathing, believing I was unlovable, unworthy of love. This Statement offered a real opportunity to change my negative self-talk. The more I let go of my fears, the more I let love in, knowing and believing that I am truly worthy of giving and receiving love.
Was there a time in your life when love changed the course of your world? What were the circumstances?
How do you practice self-care?
Do you struggle with being a people pleaser? If so, have you considered setting boundaries to create a balance between giving to others and also getting your own needs met?
How difficult is it to set boundaries? Do you find it depends on the person or situation?
Do you know when you’re giving too much? What are the signs?
How do you speak to yourself when it comes to self-love and self-worth?
What is your greatest fear of being vulnerable?
Authentic love truly changes the course of your world when a balance is created and the choice is made to love yourself as well as others, Dee
Here is where the Teddy Bear Challenge is on May 2:
92 donors have collectively donated $9,975!
Plus we have a pledge of $50,013 in available matching funds!
Including matching funds … we are now at $19,949!!!
20% toward our goal of $50,013 from the community
59% towards our participation goal <— can we blow this out of the water?
