Monday Thoughts 5.16.22 - Women for Sobriety

“She does not know what the future holds, but she is grateful for slow and steady growth.”
Morgan Harper Nichols

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”
Robert Frost

“Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.”
Helen Keller

#8 The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

When I find myself on the side of conscious growth, Statement #8 feels like a warm, cozy blanket. It feels comforting, even satisfying, and I am able to identify and acknowledge the path of growth, even if it was difficult or painful. Sobriety and recovery make this possible.

At other times, trying to practice Statement #8 can feel like a terrifying tornado blowing everything over in its path. Fear and uncertainty abound, and the fight/flight/freeze response is kicked into high gear. This is where sobriety sets the foundation for growth to take place. Through the WFS Online Forum or face-to-face meetings, we can learn new tools/skills to manage how we feel and gauge our growth.

My favorite aspect of this Statement is that there is no destination, and there is no one size fits all. It’s personal and it’s intimate. The object is simply growth. This version of me will be different from next year, five years, and so on. So in-between the comfy blanket and blustering storms, I embrace the possibilities and welcome 4C development.

Hugzzz
Karen

Hi 4C Women,
I always thought, and have shared this over the years, that I thought all my major life decisions would be made and completely accomplished by age 40. As I have grown older, way past 40, I learned gratefully that life provides numerous opportunities along with choices to continue achieving emotional and spiritual growth. As Karen shared, there is no destination but plenty of roads to travel.

One of my favorite things about the WFS program and this Statement, in particular, is that emotional and spiritual growth is a personal, individual, unique journey. How I define my priorities, my spiritual journey, and ways to achieve emotional growth belong solely to me. While we may share commonalities, our history, our openness to seek support, willingness to change, and setting specific priorities is our choice, and our decisions to make. And as we learn life lessons, we learn to set different priorities. That is the beauty of emotional and spiritual growth.

Before recovery, emotionally I was still thinking like a teenager who was hurt by her bio father at age 16. That life lesson changed me in a powerful but definitely not a positive way. It certainly affected my self-esteem; skewed my priorities. It took therapy and sobriety to address those issues and heal. Before I made those life changes, I had no idea of how to make myself a priority that would empower me to know my core values and create a New Life of self-love and self-worth. Through determined perseverance, thought patterns changed, behavior changed, and I became a New Woman! I started thinking about what mattered the most to me, known as core values. I questioned whether I was spending quality time on those core values, where my focus and time were spent.

I encourage you to make a list of your core values. Be courageous, and fearless in writing down what matters most to you. I say this because I initially found myself writing what I thought I “should” consider my core values according to societal standards. It was quite a challenge to be authentically and soulfully honest. I finally understood that if I was to grow emotionally and spiritually, I needed that complete honesty with myself. And I as grew over the years, my core values changed and shifted. It was exciting to recognize and be okay with that shift.

As you look over your core values, i.e., career, family and/or friendships, fun/recreation, health/fitness environment/home, money, significant relationships, and any important aspect of your life, how much time do you spend on them?

If you find yourself needing to shift your invaluable time according to your listing of core values, what is your action plan to start doing that?
How do you show up for yourself when setting priorities? In other words, are your core values connected to your current needs?

Answering these few questions will be a guide to making a conscious effort to set the right priorities that speak to your heart. I often think of our emotional and spiritual history as a compass, directing us in creating change, becoming resilient in the discomfort of healing, and pain, and value our worth.

Bonded in setting priorities and spending focused time on your emotional and spiritual growth, Dee