Monday Thoughts 1.31.22 - Women for Sobriety

“Don’t plan it all. Let life surprise you a little.” ~~Julia Alverez

“If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.” ~~Betty White

“I’m all about spontaneity. I think it makes for greatness.” ~~Camille Kostek

#6 Life can be ordinary or it can be great.

Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.

Laughter and spontaneity oftentimes go hand and hand. Take a moment to just reflect back on the last time you really busted out laughing; maybe you were laughing so hard you had tears running down your face or even had to pause to catch your breath. You couldn’t script that moment any more than you could stop your giggling. In sobriety and recovery, it is essential to be able to laugh and to embrace the moment.

Statement #6 in action encourages presence and that includes laughter. Sobriety is not the end of joyful moments, rather it is the beginning of a New Life which includes laughter, giggles, chortles, and cackles.And where there is laughter, there is a sense of spontaneity that can bring out the child in each of us.

This week, look for and find ways to open yourself up to laughter. Sometimes it can feel like there is so much chaos and heaviness going on in the world right now yet allowing laughter to permeate your senses can alleviate some of that weight. This was especially helpful for me in early sobriety; watching comedies each week, if not daily allowed me to connect to my emotions and feelings. It felt like a jump start into recovery. Make it your mission this week to let go of rigidity, welcome laughter and make every day special!

Hugzzz

Karen

Dear 4C Women,

I had major technical issues on Wednesday night. My smoke alarm went on for 20 minutes until I finally figured out which unit was causing the ear shattering problem and was also hurting my dog’s ears, my DIRECTV sent a message that my Genie hard drive was broken and needed to be replaced and then my landline stopped working as it was decided to turn off that breaker to see if it would stop the smoke alarm from its screeching sound. I was not laughing. However, I was fortunate to have the best neighbors who were there to help me. When I reflect on that night, it would have made a great comedy of errors. It was not an ordinary night yet it was one filled with gratitude for helpful, caring neighbors. Shockingly, a new hard drive was delivered the next morning and my neighbor installed it with ease that afternoon. Poor guy even tried to teach me a few tips on how to program the remote. I have a daily calendar and the quote for that Wednesday was: Today’s Forecast: 100% FANTASTIC! Now that made me laugh. I needed that as I collapsed on the sofa.

I have had women share that they felt flat when they became sober. I feel Jean understood this feeling and created Statement #6 to give us hope and direction to experience moments of our New Life as joyful, becoming spontaneous in that joy and having awareness of its impact on our daily lives. For me, it does not mean denying or ignoring the tough times. It means acknowledging the great moments when they happen and relish them as treasures to be recalled when we have that flat feeling. I actually began enjoying celebrations as a sober woman. I was in the moment and it was one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. I had fun, I laughed, I remembered the moments.

Here’s what I love about spontaneity. The word itself says it’s not planned which in the past I found myself thinking I had to plan fun. It wasn’t a moment that happened, it was a detailed plan such as a vacation or event that was going to be fun and that’s that! If my plan didn’t turn out to be fun, I started all that negative self-talk that I wasn’t deserving of fun. I really screwed up and I’ll never have fun ever again in my life. The all or nothing thinking. Nancy Cross once wrote to focus on the end result, not the how, which is how I was living my life. Well, as I began to practice Statement #6, I found myself laughing at small things like the kid next door who came over one Christmas and started turning on all my musical snowmen of which there are many and laughing so hard. He also had an iPad that he selected a Michael Jackson song to play and started singing along and dancing around the room. He showed me exactly what spontaneous meant. I found myself laughing more often because I was learning to be in the moment. So, think about the last time you spontaneously laughed, what actions can you take to bond yourself to living life in the now and what is “your” definition of greatness in sobriety/recovery. I hope you will consider Karen’s suggestions and find yourself in the light of unexpected joyful laughter this week and keep practicing it.

Bonded in learning to be in the moment and experiencing authentic joy, Dee

Dear 4C Women,

I had major technical issues on Wednesday night. My smoke alarm went on for 20 minutes until I finally figured out which unit was causing the ear shattering problem and was also hurting my dog’s ears, my DIRECTV sent a message that my Genie hard drive was broken and needed to be replaced and then my landline stopped working and it was decided to turn off that breaker to see if it would stop the smoke alarm from its screeching sound. I was not laughing. However, I was fortunate to have the best neighbors who were there to help me. When I reflect on that night, it made a great comedy of errors. It was not an ordinary night, yet it was one filled with gratitude for helpful, caring neighbors. Shockingly, a new hard drive was delivered the next morning and my neighbor installed it with ease that afternoon. Poor guy even tried to teach me a few tips on how to program the remote.

I have a daily calendar and the quote for that Wednesday was: Today’s Forecast: 100% FANTASTIC! Now that made me laugh. I needed that as I collapsed on the sofa.

I have had women share that they felt flat when they became sober. I feel Jean understood this feeling and created Statement #6 to give us hope and direction to experience moments of our New Life as joyful, becoming spontaneous in that joy, and having awareness of its impact on our daily lives. For me, it does not mean denying or ignoring the tough times. It means acknowledging the great moments when they happen and relishing them as treasures to be recalled when we have that flat feeling. I actually began enjoying celebrations as a sober woman. I was in the moment and it was one of the greatest gifts of sobriety. I had fun, I laughed, I remembered the moments.

Here’s what I love about spontaneity. The word itself says it’s not planned which in the past I found myself thinking I had to plan fun. It wasn’t a moment that happened, it was a detailed plan such as a vacation or event that was going to be fun and that’s that! If my plan didn’t turn out to be fun, I started all that negative self-talk that I wasn’t deserving of fun. I really screwed up and I’ll never have fun ever again in my life. The all-or-nothing thinking. Nancy Cross once wrote that we should focus on the end result, not the how, which is how I was living my life. Well, as I began to practice Statement #6, I found myself laughing at small things like the kid next door who came over one Christmas and started turning on all my musical snowmen of which there are many, and laughing so hard. He also had an iPad that he selected a Michael Jackson song to play and started singing along and dancing around the room. He showed me exactly what spontaneous meant. I found myself laughing more often because I was learning to be in the moment.

So, think about the last time you spontaneously laughed, what actions can you take to bond yourself to living life in the now, and what is “your” definition of greatness in sobriety/recovery. I hope you will consider Karen’s suggestions and find yourself in the light of unexpected joyful laughter this week and keep practicing it.

Bonded in learning to be in the moment and experiencing authentic joy, Dee