“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow, this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ~~Elizabeth Gilbert
“Love is always bestowed as a gift—freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.” ~~Leo Buscaglia
“You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success—none of that matters. No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here.” ~~Ram Dass
#10 All love given returns.
I am learning to know that I am loved.
Statement #10, the second of the “Love Statements” can feel uncomfortable to practice at first but understanding that I was deserving of love for simply existing opened up a whole new way to live. Before sobriety and recovery, I was under the assumption that love needed to be earned…. from family and even friends. This created a seemingly never-ending cycle of “receipt chaos” in my mind (why, who needed payback and when). Turning to alcohol for relief, I simply shut down and love was lost.
Our founder, Jean Kirkpatrick, PhD, put some missing puzzle pieces together and brought the WFS New Life Program to life. Built with exploration and insight, every woman who embraces the 13 Statements today receives love directly from Jean. That love continues on through each of us, weaving together a strong and vibrant tapestry that continues to flow outward.
Loving without expectation creates a portal for life to simply be and releases a need for receipts. Relationships and experiences begin to feel genuine and authentic, while cementing healthy self-awareness. Love is a powerful force and like our WFS Program booklet states “Love is the wellspring of a New Life.”
Hi 4C Women,
I relate to what Karen has shared. I have found that giving love was always easier than accepting that I was loved just for being me. I belittled myself over and over again to prove I was lovable. I found myself making choices that only validated my feelings of unworthiness, feeling invisible. Thank goodness for therapy and the WFS New Life Statements.
I read an article a while back that touched my heart and expressed clearly what I have learned from rejection from others and even rejecting myself as a lovable person.
It starts with “Remember this” –
Remember this when you are in familiar territory and someone new walks up looking for guidance
Remember this when you see someone on the outskirts anxiously holding her own hand
Remember this when someone approaches you and asks a question – see the bravery behind the words
Remember this when you see someone stop trying – perhaps she’s been rejected one too many times
Remember this when you see someone being excluded or alienated – just one friendly person can relieve the painful sense of feeling invisible.
Remember the deepest desire of the human heart is to belong…to be welcomed…to know you are seen and worthy of kindness.
These are the lessons I learned in WFS, how becoming a 4C woman could change my life and others who want to be accepted, cared about, listened to and knowing they belong just as they are.
As you go through the week, think about how you welcome people into your life based on the “Remember this” comments above. I do know that WFS was and is a place of acceptance and it was how I learned to love myself and know, while challenging at times, that others love me just for being me!
Bonded in giving love and receiving love for who you are at this very moment, Dee
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