Women for Sobriety

Monday Thoughts 11/9/2020

 “Don’t forget to love yourself” – Soren Kierkegaard

“Love is not just something we say or write.  Love is the face we put on, the clothes we wear, the way we walk and move…our very heart and soul.”  – Amy E. Dean from Night Light.

We are all willing to love and we agree with the premise that love can change the course of our world.  But it’s doing it that’s tough because we must reveal ourselves, we must give of ourselves and not be afraid if rejection follows.  Are we afraid to love because we might be turned away? “ – Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick, Founder of WFS

Statement #7

Love can change the course of my world

Caring becomes all important

Hi 4C Women,
Last Monday I shared how much I miss Karen’s inspiration in writing the first part of the Monday Thoughts.  I remembered that she wrote 4 volumes around the 13 WFS Statements and that I have all 4 of them!  What a gift to be able to share with you.

Sobriety has allowed me to understand that I need to love myself.  In the past, I demanded to be loved while alcohol fueled the intensity of those demands.

Sobriety is an act of loving me.  It is a gift I give to myself each day.  Jean Kirkpatrick wrote, “It is often said that we learn to love by loving, a kind of on-the-job- training.”

I was beginning to learn to love myself in early sobriety.  I was experiencing long hidden feelings, responding to myself with love.  I felt compassion beginning to rise within me and I felt glimpses of a calmness that has continued to flourish…inner peace.

Today I know that I am a loving person.  I feel that love in many, many ways and I am continuing to learn and grow.

Love begins with me.
Hugzz, Karen

Good Morning 4C Women,

When I first read this Statement so many years ago, I was reluctant to be vulnerable as the fear of rejection loomed large in my mind because I had experienced it too many times.  What I learned is what Karen so clearly states, “Love begins with me!”  I had such a narrow, limited view of love, confined strictly to romantic love.  Through WFS and therapy, I have learned that love is expansive from loving friends, pets, hobbies, adventures, nature, books, family, learning, writing, oh the list is endless.  I realized that I was surrounded by love and I began to accept it and return it with authenticity.  It was as though I suddenly was able to carry love in my heart wherever I was and it felt awesome.  Gone was the emptiness, the fear of rejection I carried like a 2-ton boulder on my shoulders.  I no longer worried if I was not accepted by everyone because I learned to accept myself right where I was at that moment.  I had to become my own best friend.  One of the greatest gifts was learning to love myself.  I felt I had found not only self-love but as a WFS facilitator, I found a safe home to express my caring and compassion for others.

  • How would you describe the relationship you have with yourself? Is it loving, accepting, growing in a caring direction?  If not, perhaps spend time seeking to uncover why and work through whatever is keeping you from the love, respect and joy you need and deserve.
  • How has learning to love yourself changed the way you define love for others
  • Are you more open to being vulnerable on your love journey, letting go of the fear of rejection, knowing you have built a strong foundation of self-love
  • What/Who is on your love list
  • How do you express caring for others
  • In a quiet moment, ask yourself what you can do to help yourself feel more compassion and love toward yourself
  • What are some of the ways you celebrate yourself?

Bonded in learning that love comes to us in diverse ways and that self-love and caring is all important, Dee